■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
|
|
▶ Topic :
[2] People should be realistic rather than romantic in
order to live a better life. Do you agree or disagree? with the statement. Use
specific reasons to support your answer.
|
|
|
▶ Your Answer : Some people think that living with love and romance could be better life than realistic life. However, in my opinion, it is wise to choose practical and realistic lives for enjoying a life with happiness. The reasons are that people could be easier to make more money and have a lot of friends if they are at the center of the reality. To begin with, realistic life is always associated with earning money. To be specific, realistic person is widely to adopt new information or suggestion, and it leads to change in (전치사 필요합니다) their habits or thought to live better life than before. For instance, in the company, it is crucial to realize which way is right direction for company’s development. The realistic people are (주어 동사 불일치) always awake to accept criticism and embrace change to overcome a difficult environment if they are confronted by crisis situation. At this moment, the owner of the company wants to hire realistic person for resolving a conflict rather than romantic person who are generally having a world of their own. Most of time, romantic people make their own world and philosophy for living as they wish to live. They have a their own strong view that could be difficult to change the mind and thought. It could lead to make a wrong decision because they lost their sense of reality. As a result, reality people have a more chance to get a promotion and make more money than romantic people. On top of that, the person who has more sense of reality can make diverse friends with deep connections. This is because they can give a wise advice and read the problems exactly. For example, when realistic people are faced with the friends who are having a hard time, they mostly tried to give a suggestion for their friends’ own situation. At first, most of people want to avoid their matters and only listen to sugarcoated (사탕발린 말) words or positive thoughts, however, it is not only that it does not (줄임말 사용을 하지 말아주세요) change their situation but also delay to solve the problems. (문장이 너무 길어요. 쪼개주세요.) Eventually they need reality advice from the other people to figure out problems. Because of practical solution, most of people want to socialize with reality person. Recent research conducted by the Seoul National University revealed that the 75% of the people who are having a romantic way of thinking showed that they only look at the bright sides and positive aspects of the world. This means that the romantic people usually give warm-hearted words rather than suggesting accurate solution to resolve the situation who have a trouble with something or someone. To sum up, realistic person has more chances to have friends and money. In conclusion, it is wiser to be a realistic person rather than romantic one for better life. |
|
1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
3. 첫 번째 바디 문단에
Most of time, romantic people make their own world and philosophy for living as they wish to live.
이 것에 대한 예시를 들어주시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*