문제 : 고등학교 방과 후 활동으로 무엇을 선호하는가? 예술 / 스포츠 / 봉사활동
Regardless of its scale, (Clarify the meaning) every choice has pros and cons. Some students might prefer sports or arts to for volunteer as an after-school activity. However, among the given choices, no other choices can’t outweigh volunteering. The following examples and analyses strongly support my stance.
To begin with, students can find the true meaning of studying by taking part in volunteering activities. Today, a lot of schools tend to focus on helping students to get more job opportunities or to enter prestigious colleges. As a result, this trend made the students more competitive and it made it is hard to learn social values for students in school. However, participating in volunteering activities will give them a chance to realize the real purpose of studying. For example, when I joined a volunteer project for climate change in high school, I recognized how critical the ecological crisis was due to the extremely hot weather. (Mention its causes) Consequently, I decided to study this topic to save the earth.
Also, volunteering activities can allow us to understand the society we are belonging to. In classroom, students learn a lot of subjects such as math, history, which deal with this world in an abstract and theoretical way. It is very beneficial for them students to part in a volunteering activity in that this activity will provide them with advanced experiences (What are they?) and knowledge of society. For example, when I was working on some part of volunteering projects, which helped the poor in my community by supporting giving food and clothes, I could recognize how severe the poverty poor problem was. Also, I newly understood the differentials between rich and poor in the real world.
To sum up, joining in volunteering activities is a very good opportunity for students to learn this society in greater depth and to find out the values we can’t learn in academic courses. In this regard, I want to choose a volunteering program as an extracurricular activity.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence |
점수 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 |
Score | Fair 18-23 | - 인트로 부분의 scales 문장을 명료하게 정리하여 주세요. - 첫 번째의 주장처럼 두 번째 내용의 결론도 부자와 가난한 사람의 격차를 이해한 후 하게 되는 결론적인 행동들을 나타내주시는 것이 좋겠습니다. - 선택되지 못한 다른 두 가지의 옵션들의 비교/대조도 어느정도 필요합니다. |