▶ Your Answer :
It is of importance how to spend their time in modern society. Understanding various aspects such as personal achievement and relationship is a good way to choose the right one. If I had to choose one between spending time at work and with my family, I would say that I prefer to have more time at work. There are several reasons and examples as follows.
To begin with, taking more time at workplace (Clarify the meaning) enables people to get promotion faster than other employees. This is because the more time we spend at work, the more productivity people can obtain. It gives a chance to learn more their knowledge about their works and develop their own working skills. For example, when I started my career as a physical therapist, I worked only at a fixed hour from nine to six. However, since I did not have enough experience, my work performance was poor according to my manger's evaluation. To solve this problem, I decided to spend more time at work than at home. As I took more time at work, I was be able to learn many things from other therapists and had time to upgrade my therapeutic skills. Finally, my performance got better and thus I was able to get promotion earlier than coworkers who joined the workplace with me.
On top of that, having more time at work is helpful for getting close with colleagues. The reason is the more time we can spend, the more deeper communication it is possible. Therefore, it tends to make a good teamwork and achieve a goal of us. For instance, after I became came to a manager, I had to lead my team. At first, it was difficult to understand other colleagues' behaviors. (What behaviors?) Upon the problem, I made a decision to stay at office to have a deep close relationship with them. After duty, I tried to communicate with my colleagues and thus I became understandable about their performance. Finally, I was able to assign order some tasks depend on each worker's situation. By doing this, the performance of my team was improved and we became more friendly at work.
In a nutshell, I am firmly for the opinion that it is better to use our time at work than with our family given that its advantage far outweigh its disadvantages. All in all, the importance of my view cannot be underestimated for the reasons I have mentioned above.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3
| 3 | 3 | Score | Fair 18-23 |
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