▶ Your Answer :
The issue of whether the government’s decision on paying the training fee for all adults of over 25 is effective way or not. The answer to this question can greatly differ depending on the individual’s perspectives. However, after pondering upon the idea from several viewpoints, I am in favor of the opinion that paying the training fee for all adults of over the age of 25 is an effective way. I feel this way for the two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, people can reduce and alleviate their stress. This is because they can forget about their problems in life by learning new skills. For example, today many employees nowadays employers work about eight to ten hours and have no leisure time in their life. Moreover, according to a recent poll, most adults of over the age of 25 are working in the company and they have no time to reduce their stress. However, if the government would pay the training fee for them, they can get new skills and stay away from release their stress from work. Also, they do not need to worry about the training fee so they can get useful skills without much concerns about money concerns. Therefore, people can alleviate their stress by getting trained thanks to the government. On top of that, people can get social interaction skills. This is because they can meet many people in training centers. (Explain more about it) My experience could be a good example. For example, I started working at 26 and I had hard time in interacting to interact with other people because I had no chance to meet many people before I started working. (Why's that?) However, our government decided to pay the training fee for adults over 25 and I tried to get trained after working. (What kinds of training courses?) In the training center, there were many people because they do not have to pay for training. Moreover, I could meet many workers because most adults over 25 are working. Therefore, I could meet lots of people and have leisure time with them. As a result, I could have more time to interact with people and develop social interaction skills. To conclude, I believe that there is no doubt that paying the training fee for all adults of over the age of 25 is effective because people can reduce and alleviate their stress and get social interaction skills. Opinions may differ from people to people but what does not change is that topic of whether paying the training fee is effective or not is something that needs to be addressed.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3
| 2 | 2 | Score | Fair 18-23 |
- training 을 무료로 제공받는 것과, 스트레스를 없애는 것과의 밀접한 상관관계를 엿볼수 없었습니다. 단순히 사람들을 사귈 수 있다는 주장역시 이유로써 약한 편입니다. 직장인들의 입장이 아닌 사회/국가 적인 측면에서 주제를 바라보실 필요가 있습니다.
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