Which is the most important thing for a country leader to assure the prosperity of the country?
- Creating more jobs for unemployed workers
- Increasing agriculture and low the food price
- Increasing access to affordable houses
More and more people today want to choose a good leader to develop their country successfully. However, people have various standards of a good leader. Some people think that creating more jobs for unemployed workers is the most important thing, while other people concentrate on agriculture problems and the food price, or house issues. If I am forced to choose one of them, my standpoint is I will be definitely in line with giving more chances to get a job for the people to get a good job. My rationale is founded upon the following scheme.
First of all, to solve unemployment in a society is the more fundamental tasks than the others. In fact, if governments did do not deal with decreasing job opportunities, the more serious problems could come out be caused as a result of it. To be specific, once unemployed people do not have enough money to spend on their daily life, the amount of money in society starts reducing, (What is that?) which makes people not to buy items. In this cycle, there will be a possibility to worsen the economic condition. For example, when the Korea government received proposals from the IMF in 1995, the IMF asked the government to reduce the number of workers in companies whose budget statements were bad. Consequently, the unemployment rate was increasing rapidly and most of the families had to live with very low income. Moreover, since items and foods in the markets were not sold,(Why's that?) there was a significant damage to industry and agriculture.
On top of that, providing more jobs is necessary for people to live in a comfortable environment. Generally, people tend to buy a house by loan, which means that they have to pay money including interests to the bank. However, those who do not have a stable job even would not have a chance to have a house because they can not pay the money back. For example, if the government gives enough houses every year, it would be useless without those who buy them. (Clarify the meaning) Actually, in my city, one-fourth of houses are empty since there is no one to give the cost of the house. This shows that the existence of opportunities for jobs is a more important requirement to be a good leader of the country.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence |
점수 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 |
Score | Fair 17-23 | - IMF 예시에서 왜 상점의 item들의 판매가 이루어지지 않았는지에 대한 답이 제시되어 있질 않습니다. - house 연결한 부분까지는 좋았으나, house renting fee를 내야하는 것, house를 단순히 제공하기 보다는 저렴한 loan system을 통하여 이루어지는 점이 왜 직업을 갖는 것보다 덜중요한지를 강조해주셔야 합니다. - 전체적인 내용을 요약한 결론이 필요합니다. |