■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :Hasty
decisions are never the right ones |
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▶ Your Answer :
There
might be some people who believe that making decisions with haste can result in
better outcome because they believe our instinct is reliable. However, I personally
disagree with the above idea for the two subsequent reasons. First, one's
perspective is often so limited that considering others, especially experts'
view is crucial, and second, if you make a hasty choice, you could lose the
opportunity to compare other options which might be even better one.
To
begin with, I'm reluctant to say this but our viewpoint is not that wide or
wise. Thus, depending on only one's idea might lead to awful results. Admitting
humbly that we all are not gods, but human beings with limits, we should put
other people's suggestions into consideration. Let me bring up my personal
story as an example. When I was in high school I wanted to major in Japanese
literature. However, my teacher advised me not to for it would be considerably
difficult to get a job after graduation. He talked me into with several
meetings with clear graphs and statistics about majors and occupations. Just
then I realized that my point of view was so narrow and shallow, thus changed
my major to economics.
On
top of that, you might lose precious chance to look for other choices which
might suit you better. Most of the times there are several options available
among which you should pick. Contemplating on all the choices is, I believe the
key to a successful decision making. For instance, my sister had to buy a
laptop to use it in her class. She simply searched laptop on google and bought
the first product that popped up saying that she does not want to waste time on
selecting which to buy. Sadly, the result was destructive. The laptop she chose
was not suitable for her use, which was to run image files and edit movie clips
that required higher specifications. Thus, she had to buy another laptop, but
in this case after carefully comparing all the options.
To
sum up, we should acknowledge that our ideas are not so clever that we should
listen to other people's perspectives, and we should also have enough time to
value other choices available. In this regard, I firmly believe that hasty
decisions always lead to regrets.
주장에 대한 supporting detail이 조금 더 깔끔하고 집약적으로 나왔으면 훨씬 좋았을 거 같아요. 예를 들어 두번째 main paragraph의 경우에는 주장 설명보다 예시가 훨씬 길게 나왔고 첫번째 main paragraph도 supporting detail의 설득력이 조금 부족합니다 어휘도 대부분 기본적인 어휘 위주로만 쓰인 것 같아 많이 아쉽습니다 항상 쓰면서 어휘가 반복적인지 확인하고 동의어 쓰는 연습 중요합니다
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첨삭해주신 것들 감사히 잘 보고 있습니다. 감사합니다!