▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, friends play a
vital role in people’s lives in many of the places where they work or play.
Some people like different friends, while others like similar friends. Both
sides may have their own reasons and advantages to support their views (그래서 자신의 주제가 무엇인가요? 명확하게 서술할 필요가 있습니다).
To begin with, making friends
different from me or friends similar to me has advantages respectively (한 가지만 정해서 그것에 대한 부분만 서술하는 것이 좋습니다). For
example, when people have friends different from them, it can give them a
chance to experience something different from what they would do in their usual
routine, because different friends may have different lifestyles, interests and
ideas. On the other hand, having similar friends enables people to strengthen
their emotional bond and feelings of security in their relationships by sharing
same interests.
If I had to choose one, I would say that it is better to make friends who
are different from me. I think that having different friends allows people to
experience something different, and this new experience tends to prevent them
from feeling bored in life. So, ultimately it can contribute to an increase in
their overall happiness. For instance, when my sister was in high school, she
often felt depressed thinking that her life became an exhausting routine. She
spent the whole day studying all academic subjects, hoping that she could outdo
others. So, it was difficult to make a new friends and she only mingled with a
few friends who were similar to her. Fortunately, she was able to let off some
steam after she went to the college. In her college, she was able to have many
chances to make friends from different counties. Naturally, she learned their
languages and cultures, and eventually she became optimistic, confident and
strong. If she had not made friends with them, she would not have been able to
escape from her boring life.
All things considered, I strongly believe that the advantages of having
different friends far outweigh those of having similar friends for the reasons
I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of friends cannot be
overestimated in life.
점수; 22 구조적으로 문제가 많아 보이는 독립형 에세이입니다. 일단 지금 이 에세이를 읽으면서 가장 크게 느낀 것은 이 에세이의 주제가 무엇이지? 라는 것입니다. 그 만큼 인트로 부터 시작하여서 이 에세이가 주제가 무엇인지를 명확하게 명시하지 않습니다. 명확하게 명시하지 않다 보니 이 에세이가 무엇을 서술하려고 하는지 가늠이 돼지 않는 거 같습니다. 따라서 좀 더 구체적으로 자신의 의견을 주장하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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