■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :it is acceptable for the government to neglect environmental concerns to promote economic growth, agree or dsagree?? |
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▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, some people might think that it is acceptable for the
government to neglect environmental concerns to promote economic growth. However,
in my opinion, I strongly believe that it is not acceptable for the government
to concern only about promoting economic development for two reasons which I will
explore in the following essay.
To begin with, if the government ignores the environmental problem,
it would threaten public health. There are a lot of industrial wastes from
factories, which pollute (단복수) air and water. Especially, people are always exposed
to (전치사) the air and imagine the polluted air going (분사구문) into their body. People’s health
must be in a bad condition. I will give my personal experience as an example of
my opinion. In Korea, the (관사) amount of methane that is included in the air increased
15% compared (분사구문) with those for the past 3 years. In result, the ratio of people going (분사구문) to
medical center due to lung diseases (단복수) was increased 30% because there were some
holes in their lung and it made them feel (사역동사 용법) painful.
On top of that, government has to face the great economic loss. Bad situation
of the environment becomes more and more deteriorated (품사). If the government does
not care about that condition, it is bound to be destroyed completely and government
has to pay a lot of money to regenerate the foul environment. For instance, government
of China (대소문자) gave it a try for lessening budget for maintaining and developing environment.
They failed to last the trial for a long time because people could not (시제) find pure
water in China so they gave (시제) up the attempt. In addition, it coasted a lot to
recover the water; the government could not help reducing half of the budget for (전치사) the other department.
To sum up, the contaminated environment (품사) will harm public people. Moreover, a (관사) big loss of money would be encountered by government. In this regard, I firmly
believe that the government has to concern about environmental problem.
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점수: 20/30
1. 나라 이름 (ex. China)과 같은 고유 명사는 항상 대문자입니다.
2. 문법은 그 오류가 너무 광범위해서 간략하게 어디서 틀리셨는지 설명을 달아놨습니다. 참고해주세요!
문맥은 맞지만 문장을 뜯어보면 틀린 곳이 너무 많아서 글의 질을 떨어트리고 있습니다.
꼼꼼한 검토로 어느 정도 고쳐질 가능성이 충분합니다.
3. topic에 대한 직접적인 답을 하는 것이 바람직합니다.
is it acceptable ~~~?? 로 물어봤기 때문에
i believe that it is acceptable ~~~. 식으로 마무리 하는 것이 좋겠지요?
수고하셨습니다. *^^*