▶ Your Answer :
One of the dilemmas that parents face in
the nurturing of children is that it is difficult to tell how much freedom they
should allow the children to have and how strict rules they should set for
them. It is all parents’ hope that their kids grow up to live a successful
life, but is raising them with strict rules necessary for it? It seems like the
answer depends on how one defines success. Based on my definition of successful
life, I do not think that strict rules are required for children to obtain
success.
In my opinion, successful life consists of
two most significant elements, which are being happy as the owner of one’s
life, and being able to take responsibility of one’s decisions. This is far
from common idea of success that includes factors such as economic wealth or
high social standard. I believe that even if someone is rich or has fame, it is
no use if the person is unhappy because he/she is living someone else’s life or
does not have the capability of stand on his/her own.
When children are raised to keep strict
rules, they are probably going to become ‘good’ people in the future. They will
grow up to be decent citizens that keep legal norms and social norms. However,
as they become this they will constantly have to check themselves if they are
doing right. They will always be under stress and feel less self-confident..
For example, a friend of mine was so obsessed with keeping rules and being a
god person that she got clinical depression derived from self-doubt. Also, as
they put other people before themselves to follow norms such as generosity,
they themselves may be left out in their consideration. People who cannot take
care of themselves are hardly described successful.
Another reason I do not see strict rules as
necessity for successful life is that strict rules often tend to confine
children in safe area. They prevent children from challenging status quo of
things and breaking eggs. Children who are brought up to obey to rules tend to
become people that conform to already established system. This is a problem
itself, and it gets even worse when such attitude leads to weakened
problem-solving skills. Since they do not step outside of the boundaries, they
do not know how to make change and makes things better. I once read a book
named <25 Things People Regret at the Moment of Death>. In the book, one
of the cancer patients said in an interview, “I regret not being bold at work.
I always followed rules and conveyed to norms… This made me be in the company
long enough, but I was never prominent or meaningful member in teams.” I fear
this is exactly what would happen to children when they are raised within
strict rules.
To sum up, in my glossary successful life
means that someone is content as the person is the master of his/her life and
that he/she has the capability of be responsible of what they do. If parents
set strict rules for children, they could become the kind of people who are
nice and friendly to society but are never so to themselves. Also they will
grow to be the type of people that never take challenges and therefore lack the
ability to solve problems. Therefore, I believe that parents do not need to set
strict rules for children wishing such way of nurturing will lead them to
successful life.
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