Topic : Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.
Needless to say, conversation is one of the most important things to keep relationship with people. (앞 문장과 뒷 문장 연결이 매끄럽지 못 합니다) We are sometimes in the situation that we have no choice but to lie to others. There are some people who think that we individuals must have conscience and say the truth to friends, families, even the teachers all the time. On the other hand, I firmly believe that it is worthwhile not telling the truth at every moment. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First and foremost, lying help people get higher self-esteem. When it comes to an assessment of their appearance, in particular, we may lie that our friends look better than they really do. In my case, I had a friend who has low confidence since she always thought how she looked like.cared about her look. Some rude people laughed at her for the reason that she was ugly and they just did not like how she dressed up. Although it was just for a joke, my friend She got her feelings hurt from them. Once we had an opportunity to go to the amusement park, she got a wonderful make up from the professionals and bought some new clothes to look attractive. Since I knew she did pay attention to herself much, I gave her a compliment that she looked beautiful. As a result, and she started to believe that she was a nice person enough.
On top of this, we can comfort others when there is a serious event. It is truly hard to tell people the happenings with one hundred percent accuracy if something is a extremely bad news to them. For instance, doctors in hospital always worry whether they must inform the families of the patient's terrible situation or not. If doctors never say the untruth, there should be a big possibility for the families to get a shock right away and even go through a detrimental state. In addition, they believe that if they do not say to patient that he can get better even if he have a short time to live, the patient will be rather worse. In this regard, they usually take advantage of lying. These thankful people working in hospital have ability to relax the patient's families with this useful and right way.
Lying itself might sound such a wrong thing to do in life. It might be harmful when it is overused. However, only if we people adequately lie in some situations, it must help us make our relationships better. By telling something false, we are able to improve individuals' self confidence and generate people to feel the worst situation as if it is nothing. In brief, not saying the truth is of a great importance living a life for all the people.
주장 아주 clear하고, 이에 대한 supporting detail도 자세하게 잘 작성되었습니다.
다만 조금씩 문법 오류가 있어 문장의 흐름이 끊기는 듯한 부분도 보입니다.
이는 문법 복습과 문장 쓰기 연습이 선행된다면, 조금씩 좋아질 문제로 보입니다.
intro가 조금 길긴하지만, 그래도 structure에 잘 맞춰 작성하여, 뜻 전달은 좋았습니다.
10/15
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