▶ Your Answer :
People hold different ideas about a field
that should be stopped financial support should be stopped among art, science research, and parks
and public gardens. I firmly believe that cutting financial support in art is
the best idea because of changing social circumstances (Sounds bit unclear) and the importance of relieving
citizens’ stress.
As the science development has been emerged as
one of the important matters for society, halting financial support in art
offers more benefits to country in times of economic crisis than halting
financial support in science research. It used to be general to solve economic
crisis by art. The trend has faded away in modern society because of the high
significance of science development. (Unclear) To take use South Korea as an for example, South
Korea developed an enormous scientific evolution after Korean war in 1950. At that
time, people were suffering from economic deficiency due to damages from the
long-term war. However, South Korea made a simple exportation method (What is it?) while
ordinary way was complex and could achieve great success in economics due to
the development based on science research. (What does it mean?) Because of the easier transporting
system, South Korea could export many goods to other country and overcome
economic crisis with the earnings from goods exportation. On the other hand, a
painting is worthy when it gets old and preserved for a long decade. However,
the arts usually does not resolve the problem of unexpected which have just made are not necessary for immediate economic crisis.
Moreover, it is difficult to preserve the painting until it becomes famous in a
situation that nobody ensures the painting will be worthy before the economic
crisis ends. This indicates that cutting financial support in art is more
beneficial to economy than cutting the support in science research.
In order to relieve citizens’ stress, stopping
economic support in art is expected to be more effective to entire economy than
stopping economic aid in parks and public gardens. With society becoming
increasingly complex, a growing number of people in country in times of
economic danger are suffering from stress, but the problem is that it is not
easy to find a proper way of dealing with it. In this case, halt of financial
aid in art is necessary. (Why's that?) On the other hand, parks and public gardens are more
helpful to reduce stress because people can rest in the parks and public gardens.
Most people do not have enough money to pay for admission of art center while
economic crisis is on, therefore, they cannot relieve their stress by enjoying
arts. (Need more explanation) Thus, it is expected that cutting support in art brings remarkable
effects to economy.
Overall, halting financial support in art
is the most ideal option because of significance of science development and
reducing stresses. I have every confidence that cutting economic aid in art
will make a contribution to solve economic crisis.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | Score | Fair 18-23 |
- simple exportation method란 무엇이며, ordinary way는 무엇을 가르키고 있는지 상세하게 밝혀주세요.
- 종종 명료하지 않은 문장이 보이거나 반복되는 문장이 보입니다. |
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