▶ Your Answer : Releasing strain on environment while using transports is great interest of people regardless of race and age. For this reason, they are trying to take less transportations as possible while not answering the issue that which transportation have more impact on society. In fact, it appears to most of people that cars have affected society than planes. I also agree with this idea.
First and foremost, cars make more accidents per day than planes make. The reason why it is commonly believed that planes would have more crashes than cars are due to different scale of media coverage. Car accidents are not discussed seriously in media as it is everyday event and it is not as dramatic as plane does. Owing the fact that plane crashes would produce greater number of death, people started believe that planes are more dangerous and therefore having more impact on our life. Surprisingly, taking planes is safer to people but people do not realize it. Therefore, automobiles have been affected people's life in greater value without letting people know. 약간 오프토픽입니다. 위에 부분은 완전히 오프토픽이고 밑에 한 문장만 주장에 맞는 문장입니다. 만약에 삶의 가치를 알게 해 준다가가 main point였으면 이게 주장 맨 첫 문장으로 들어갔어야 합니다 이 문장을 안 적고 앞에서 사고 이야기하다가 갑자기 삶의 가치 한문장 나오고 끝나니, 문장 흐름이 굉장히 부자연스럽게 다가옵니다.
Secondly, there are more cars on the road than aeroplanes in sky. Plane skepticist would raise issue that planes need more gasoline and produce more methane gas than cars need. In reality, cars have been outnumbered the number of airplanes by 66 percent, according to the global environmental protection committee. It is important to note that cars can take fewer people and planes are used by larger value of people. As cars can usually take 5 people at maximum, people would need more cars to travel with groups of people. This results in using more gasolines, therefore leading to air pollution. On contrast, airplanes do not require lots of gasolines as soon as they are stable enough thanks to balance force of wind and its weight.
To recapitalize, cars have been outnumbered planes and have more accidents per day than planes do. For these reasons, I am certain that cars have been affected on society in negative way than planes did. 이렇게 쓰면 의미가 없습니다. 지금 여기서도 accident를 강조하고 있는데 주제인 impact와 어울리는 건 사고가 아니라 삶의 가치입니다.
the 어디서 써야 하는지 약간 헷갈려하는 것 같습니다 이와 함께 수일치도 오류 없도록 다 쓰고 나서 여러번 체크해주세요. |