▶ Your Answer : Some people said that people who lived in modern society
are less honest than people in the past. My view, however, is that today
people are more honest more than people in history. This is
largely because human's characteristic is similar to past people
and school education is well provided more than the past. To begin with, human's characteristic is not changed
easily. Today's people learned to be honest by their parents. The teaching
that do not spread wrong information and do not act
nasty originated from their parent and grandparent. Therefore past people also learned the same things
and it means past and today human have no different view
point about honesty. <-intro에서는 현대인들이 과거인들에 비해 더 정직하다고 주장했는데, 이 근거 문단에 따르면
둘의 차이가 없다는 말이 되어 주장이 상충합니다. Second, old government cannot provide school education. These days education is an important factor in our
life. Schools do their best to give more developed better education and it makes people
be a good members of society. Almost good members of society are honest
and kind. It can be evidence that we have many honest people in modern
community. Maybe today's people are more honest than people in the
past. <- 논리적으로 전혀 앞뒤가 맞지 않는 문장들입니다 To summarize, there is an ongoing debate
over honesty of human being. It is often said that people in the past are more
honest than today's people. But I have different opinion and there is are two reasons. First,
people characteristic is have not shifted simply. Second, today's education is better than the past. For these reasons, I
think that modern people are also honest. Writing
0–30 score scale Limited(6-9)
에세이가 250자로 독립형 에세이로는 상당히 짧은 편입니다. 되도록 300자 정도는 쓰시는 편이 좋습니다. 일단 문법적으로나 표현이 매우 제한적이고 단순합니다. 좀 더 많은
단어를 사용해서 다양하게 표현하는 법을 익히시고, 기본적인 작문 실력을 높이는 것이 중요하겠습니다. 또한 본인의 주장을 일관성있게 전달하는 것은 에세이에서 매우 중요하므로, 상충되는
내용이 없도록 써주세요. 수고 많으셨습니다^^ |