▶ Your Answer :
There are people who believe that life is
more comfortable and easier nowadays in comparison of our grandparents’ young life.
However, I disagree with the above idea for the two subsequent reasons.
Firstly, people these days have less free time than the ancestors’. Secondly,
we have more concerns and daily struggles as time went by. (GOOD)
To begin with, people these days do not
have lots of free time. Due to the advent of technology, our life has gotten to
be a lot more complex than before. According to my grandfather, when he was 25, he did not have various means of transportations. He only had buses,
with very limited routes. He added that these days, every job has sorted into
specific and detailed areas these days, so life has become very complicated than decades
ago. What this means is that He finished his work before five at night, due to limited transportations, so he had more free time. However, these days, we have various types of transportation, so
it is no surprising that we often work until late at night. Thus, we have less free time to spend than people in the past.
On top of that, people these days have more
problems and struggles as time passed by. Our generation has a number of stores
and malls to buy foods and clothes, but we always have to think of what to eat or
wear. For example, when we go on a grocery shopping, we have our budget to spend estimate cost.
However, when we see high quality food, we get to compare it to our shopping
list. If we buy the food, we have to pay more than we thought, but if not, we
would have lower quality food. That means, we always need to compare things to
things and that became one of our life struggles. In the past, people did not
have to think about it seriously because there were not sufficient sources. Thus, it perhaps was possible that
people had fewer problems to deal with.
In conclusion, people in many years ago not
only had more free time but also had fewer concerns to think about. In this
regard, I disagree with the statement that people of todays have more
comfortable and easier life, compared to our old generation’s.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
|
ORGANIZATION
|
PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
|
LANGUAGE USE
|
GRAMMAR
|
GOOD
|
GOOD
|
GOOD
|
GOOD
|
GOOD
|
각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
|
- minor한 expression mistake 제외하면 논리정연하게 잘 작성된 글입니다. 수고하셨습니다.
|