The reading passage contends that there are several benefits of using electronic databases as means to store medical records. On the other hand, the lecturer brings up several points that contradict this argument.
First, the speaker argues that it is unlikely that the costs can be saved by using electronic records. This is because doctors cannot save money from reducing the storage place. To be specific, even though doctors use electronic records, they will have to keep paper documents since the documents are needed for legal reasons. This means that they still need places for document storage. This counters the reading passage's claim that a large amount of money will be saved with the use of electronic records.
Second, according to the lecturer, it is hard to believe that electronic records are mandatory necessary to reduce the possibility of medical errors. The reason is that because doctors still use paper when they take notes from patients, which can lead to some errors. Therefore, there will be some problems of paper writing even if doctors start to use electronic medical records. This refutes the reading passage's assertion that many human errors will be alleviated with the help of using electronic records.
The final point made by the lecturer is that electronic medical records will not benefit medical research. This is supported by the fact that medical researchers cannot have access to information about their patients as the information is strictly regulated by the laws of U.S. the United States. In other words, the researchers have to follow the rules and should get permission from the patients. However, the permission from the patients about their health information is not always granted. This casts doubt on the reading passage's viewpoint that it will be easier to get information from the medical database, and aiding research.
Writing 0-30 scale
Good (25-26)
전반적으로 두 passage의 내용을 잘 정리하고, lecture가 reading을 반박하는 논리를 잘 설명했습니다.
서문에서 두 글의 주제를 좀 최대한 명확하고 정확하게 설명하세요.
TOEFL 글쓰기는 academic writing skill을 평가하는 시험입니다. 따라서 축약형 등 비격식체와 구어체를 피하고 정확한 영어를 사용해야 합니다.
그밖에 일부 어휘가 어색하여 수정했으니 본문을 참고하세요.