▶ Your Answer :
The lecturer and the reading
passage discuss the vessels, which have a copper cylinder. The professor claims
that the reading's theories that the vessels were not used as electric batteries are not
supported by evidence. in the reading passage. This counters the reading
passage’s claim that it is unlikely that the vessels were really used as
electric batteries in ancient times. 요약문으로 보기에는 분량이 너무 많아요. 겹치는 내용을 줄이고 [두 지문이 다루는 topic이 이것인데 한 지문은 이런 입장이고 다른 한 지문은 이 내용을 반박한다]정도로만 남겨주시는 게 좋아요.
To begin with, the speaker
asserts that people who found these vessels could miss important part of the
vessels. At that time, people who found these vessels Since they were not archaeologist,
but local people. Therefore, the local people who did not get training for
excavation and it was likely that they missed or threw away some parts of the
vessels, which is an important evidence for electric batteries. This contradicts
one of the points in the reading passage’s claim that there is no evidence of
any electricity conductors around the vessels. 반복되는 부분이나 꼭 서술할 필요가 없는 부분을 위주로 조금 지워봤어요. 아래 문단들도 참고하셔서 간결하게 다듬어보시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
On top of that, the speaker
mentions that the copper cylinder in the vessels has the same shape with
holding scroll, but it does not prove anything. Even if the copper cylinder in
the vessels had been created and used for the same purpose with the holding scroll
in the beginning, this copper cylinder could be adapted for another purpose
later on. This is the opposite of the reading passage’s claim that it is highly
possible that the copper cylinder in the vessels were used for holding scrolls. 이 문단도 문장이 반복되는 부분이 많아요. 겹치는 부분을 삭제하고 더 간결하게 줄여주세요.
Finally, the speaker argues
that there were are many ways to use electric power for ancient people. For example,
ancient people could use electric power to treat muscle pain. In addition, the
battery could make a mild shock and some people used this power to be convinced,
they have magic power. This refutes the reading passage claims that the
electronic power the vessels produced would have been useless to ancient
people. 이 부분도 내용 자체는 좋지만, 문단을 더 간결하게 다듬어주면 좋을 것 같아요.
Writing 0–30 score scale Limited (1-16) Fair (17-23) ✓ Good (24–30)
전반적으로 중심 내용 등은 잘 이해하신 것 같아요. 배터리로 쓰였을 리 없다는 입장과 그렇게 볼 수 없다는 입장 대립은 잘 드러나 있어요. 하지만 요약문 치고는 분량이 너무 많다는 점이 조금 아쉬웠어요. 통합형은 150-200단어 안쪽으로 쓰는 편이 좋으니까 꼭 필요하지 않은 내용이나 반복되는 내용들을 더 정리해주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 수고하셨습니다~!
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