Some people think that people who are living in the rural areas live a happier life than people in the urban places. However, in my opinion, people in the city enjoy their lives more and feel happier than people in the country sides because urban people can enjoy diverse leisure activities and get a job easily.
To begin with, cities provide people with a wide range of activities. There are many galleries and museums where people can spend their free time by relaxing their minds. In other words, visiting those places is a good way for people to relieve their stress, and it gives them refreshed minds which make them feel happy from their lives. For example, when I was in high school, I lived in the rural areas and usually felt boring because there were not many things to do. However, after I moved to a big city to go to college, my life changed a lot. I often went to attend concerts to watch live performances, and it had a positive impact on my whole life. After I watched the performances, I could feel refreshed and more satisfaction from my life than I could when I was in the country sides.
On top of that, cities generate gives job opportunities for people to gain an employment. Since most of the companies are located in cities, people are able to get a job easily. In contrast, there are not many chances to find works in the rural areas, so many young people feel difficult from their lives. For instance, a recent study conducted by a professor from the University of Texas showed that an the unemployment rate of the cities is 3% whereas the rate of the rural places is 34%. The professor also indicated that this rate is highly related to how people feel happy from their lives. She said that many young people in the country sides feel despondent and develop several mental diseases because it is significantly difficult for them to find a job there.
To sum up, cities provide residents with various activities to enjoy and chances to get employed. In this regard, I strongly believe that people in the urban areas have more benefits from their cities and feel happier than people in the countrysides (띄어쓰기).
Writing 0-30 scale
Good (26-28)
주장을 뒷받침하기 위한 두 point를 잘 정하고 설명했습니다.
문법 및 표현상 크게 흠잡을 데도 없는 글입니다. 다만 일부 문장에서 주어와 동사, 또는 동사와 목적어가 서로 어울리지 않는 경우가 있어 본문에 수정했습니다. (city-generate, generate-opportunity, gain-employment 등)