■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
|
|
▶ Topic : 오늘날 광고 과거보다 덜 정직하다; 이런이유로 광고는 사람들이 물건을사는데 유용하지않다 |
|
|
▶ Your Answer As society has been developed, there has been an ongoing controversy concerning whether today’s advertisements are less useful due to decreasing honesty than in the past. Some people think that modern ads enable sale of product to decline, while others think that people still rely on advertising to buy product. Personally, I agree with the latter opinion for two reasons. First, it is evident that ads have played the most important role in providing accurate information to people all over the world rather than in the past. Although there are many other methods to gain information, people still view it as a more honest source. For example, it (가주어 it 사용 용법) was helpful to watch a variety of ads to acquire knowledge when I was plaining to buy cosmetics and clothes. I started obtaining details to buy products that l wanted after watching ads. These were not only more reliable and less subjective than other sources including my friend’s advice, but also more up-to-date than books. Second, modern advertising makes it possible to share their (their 가 누구인가요? 문단 첫 문장부터 대명사를 쓰는 것은 위험합니다) opinions through Internet technology, causing people to stay better informed about products than in the past. Despite a hectic society, watching ads alone makes them isolated and bored. Therefore, after learning up-to-date facts through ads, modern people prefer to exchange their viewpoints in the cyber world. In my experience, I could obtain a wide range of information about furniture such as chair and couch through advertising. This knowledge led me to attend online community for related discussions. Thus, thanks to state-of-the-art development in the Internet, today’s people share and discuss ideas regarding products with other people online, increasing both honesty of ads and sales figures of products. In summary, (대소문자 구분) although many other useful methods to provide information, ads still the give modern people useful knowledge and even strengthen their trust of product. |
|
1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
3. 문장이 전체적으로 굉장히 길고 늘어지는 감이 있습니다.
가독성도 떨어지고 문법 오류의 위험도 크니 컴마 사용을 서서히 줄이시면서 문장을 짧고 간결하게 유지해주세요.
긴 문장이 항상 좋은 것은 아닙니다!