▶ Your Answer :
As many problems related to society like environment have increased, the controversy has arisen over whether these matters will be solved within our lifetime. Some people may consider that these would require more time to be solved because these problems are too serious. However, I firmly believe that most of matters will be eliminated soon. This is mainly because that technology and science keep developing and governments are tried to solve them.
To begin with, development of technology and science contribute to settle in settling environmental problems. It does not take genius to see that the byproduct of improved skills is cars using the renewable energy which is now became generalized in order to reduce gas emission <앞에 is가 들어갔기 때문에, 굳이 became을 쓰실 필요가 없습니다> and secure a good gas mileage. According to the research conducted by Korean Research Center, 84 percent of cars in Cheon-An are is hybrid car which emits little noxious fumes. This city won the first prize of “Clean air city”. The major reason of the prize is estimated that the high proportion of hybrid car had contributes contributed to purify the air. In other word, advanced skills play an important role in ease of the modern society’s problem.
Furthermore, governments have endeavored to solve the matters connected to environment. They arranged the cooperation for restoring to restore environment and they have implemented the policies such as not using electricity in night time, riding bicycle instead of cars, and using recycling recycled product. When I was lived in Busan, 동사와 일반동사는 같이 사용 할 수 없습니다. 그렇기에 lived를 사용하셔야 합니다> there was a policy of commuting with cars only four days in a week. Thanks to the Busan citizens who observed the rule strictly, we could enjoy the fresh air and escape the traffic congestion. In this sense, problems we suffer from could be mitigated by government’s struggle and people’s followership. 정부가 무엇인가를 하는 것인줄 알았는데 결과적으로 보면 thanks to the citizens 이라고 되어있습니다. 정부의 노력이 조금 더 부각되는 내용을 사용해보시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다.
To summarize, many problems that modern people have will be removed during our life time. This is mainly because of the progress of technology and science and governments' efforts. All in all, there are people who may oppose to this claim but I strongly believe that the efforts in a variety of fields will solve these matters before we end our lives.
슈탕이님! 3글 차례대로 보았습니다~ 전반적으로 표현력이 좋고 글의 흐름도 좋습니다. 이대로 시험에서도 좋은 결과 받으시길 바랍니다! 수고하셨습니다~ |