▶ Your Answer :
It is a good attitude to try to learn from
every single events Trying to
learn a lesson from everything is a good attitude to earn something. 1. The movie, however, like most of other things,
does not necessarily include lesson of our life. 2. In contrast, it
might have negative scenes which we might not want to learn or face in our real
life.
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1 과 2의 내용을 in contrast 로 연결하셨는데요.. 상반되는 두 가지 의견만 제시해 놓으시면 뒤에 나오는 body 들은
어느 의견을 뒷받침 해주는 것인지 고민해야합니다. Intro 의 역할은 위에 나올 내용을 암시하고 안내하는
역할이므로 서론에서 충분하게 이 역할을 할 수 있도록 글을 써주셔야 합니다.
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또한 1과 2의 내용이 확연하게 대조되어 보이지
않습니다. 조금 더 확실한 단어를 선택해보시면 어떨까요? ^^
The first reason why I think that movies
are worth is that they reflect
our lives watching even they do are not
teach us something is movies worth watching because they are reflect our lives. They might show negative side of life since contain not that bright side, since our lives are not always happy and satisfactory bright.
For the second, movies are worth
watching because it gives new
sights that one cannot see before for seeing rather than learning. Similar to arts, movies are worth because of their
all about an interpretation of someone’s life from someone’s view. If
one wants to learn something from watching, one can choose a documentary that
teaches/gives quality
information.
Third, given a movie does not teach
anything is lack of worth, no one can say a movie is worthless watching. (<-무슨 의미로 쓰신 것인지 이해가 잘 안됩니다) Anyone who watches a movie can interpret it based on their own perspectives on their own ways. However, no one can say that the movie is worthless(,)
because it may have specific/certain
meaning to someone. Some people still
want to say that there are wide varieties of quality in movies. Yet, some
movies recognized their artistic worth after many years. For example,
one of the movies of my country which is filmed in 3 decades ago is reassessed
as an artistic movie and granted several prizes these days.
For
these reasons no one can say that it is not worthy of watching movies
a movie is lack of worth watching. It may
seem that a movie which received several prizes is better can
be seen as a movie won a success in market has more worth watching. (의미가 제대로 전달되지 않아 고쳐보았는데 이것이 말하고자
했던 바가 아니라면 다시 고민해보셔야 할 것 같습니다…) Surely,
there are preferences of mass consumer but it does not necessarily reflect the
worth of the movie.
글 전체적으로 깊이가 있기 보다는 비슷한 이유들을
세 가지로 나누어서 설명해놓은 듯한 느낌이 듭니다. 조금 더 상세하게 구체적으로 주장과 근거를 뒷받침해주는
문장들을 써주시는 연습이 필요해보입니다. 수고하셨습니다.
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