▶ Your Answer :
Most parents prefer a serious and strict teacher to a humorous and easygoing teacher because they believe that the first one is likely to teach students more effectively than the second one. However, I strongly think that a teacher should be humorous and easygoing to give lectures effectively in effective teaching. Students are so immature and sensitive that they are easily affected by anything. (anything 은 보통 부정 표현과 함께 쓰입니다. 따라서 모든 것에 쉽게 영향을 받는다라고 쓰고 싶으셨다면 everything 을 써주시던가 아니면 정확하게 무엇에 영향을 받는지 언급해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다.) At this point, the teacher should show warmness and care toward them so that they are able to follow the teacher.
First of all, students would be scared of learning from a strict teacher. Because they are still young and immature, they are easily hurt and affected by anything. (위에서 말씀 드린 부분입니다~) In my experience, when I had a part-time job at academy, I thought that I should be serious so that students would be scared of me and study harder, but another teacher was rather humorous to her students. After final examination period school final, I compared the result of my students and that of her students and I realized that my students got lower grade/ worse. I saw that my students’ result of the exam was worse than her students’. When students study with a humorous teacher, they are able to study in optimistic atmosphere(,) and the teacher encourages them to study effectively. (단순한 결과 비교 전에 아이들이 받았던 영향 – 수업 중 – 도 언급해주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다.)
Furthermore, a student would be under a lot of pressure and stress because of a strict teacher, and as a result, he may want to get away from daily routine and choose wrong way to do so deviate from his life in a wrong way such as committing suicide or crime. In Korea, many students commit suicide(,) and some of them do that because they are unable to endure lots of stress from school. Especially, schools in Korea tend to let students study a lot and much harder than schools in other countries. (선생님이 아이들에게 미친 영향력이 더 중요한 토픽입니다. 다시 한번 다듬어주세요~) If a teacher listens carefully to students whenever they have a problem, a student would be able to release stress from studying.
Overall, due to the above reasons, I strongly believe that a humorous and easygoing teacher is better in teaching students than a serious and strict teacher. A teacher is not only a person who teaches students but also a person who listens to them sincerely and helps them mentally. By approaching students in friendly way, students would open their mind easily and follow the teacher well.
반복적인 표현이 사용되는데 다양한 표현을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 내용을 조금 더 구체적으로 서술해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고하셨습니다! ^^ |