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There is a controversy about allowing high school students to take courses they want. Some people say that a school should ensure their preference of studying. However, in my point of view, requiring them mandatory courses holds more advantages than letting them free.
인트로 부분이 너무 짧습니다. 살을 더 붙여주시고, 전체적인 아이디어를 추가해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다 ^^
To begin with, there are many fundamental classes that students must to take. The primary purpose of requiring mandatory classes is to develop students' basic academic capacity for better work when they grow up. Subjects such as history or science is are <주어를 잘 확인해주시고, 복수인지 단수 인지 따져주시고 그 뒤에 오는 동사를 결정해주세요~ ^^> what they must know as members of society even though some of them are not interested in may not be interesting to some individuals. <좀 더 자연스럽게 표현하기 위해서, 수정했습니다. 확인해주세요! ^^> In my case, I had to learn about history in high school, even though I did not feel necessity of learning that subject. However, I had to study hard to prepare exams and now I appreciate it because it made me understand various social issues. If I were allowed to study only what I wanted, I might not have accumulated basic knowledges knowledge 는 명사이지만, 특별한 복수 형태가 없습니다 ^^> for my social activity. 문단의 끝맺음은 본인의 idea 와 예시의 내용을 종합한 문장으로 하시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
On top of that, students do not know well which courses are beneficial for them. why do you think so? Supportive sentence 주세요~ Unfortunately, they even cannot figure out what they are good at. If they are free to choose subjects to take, 앞에 choose라는 단어가 들어갔기 때문에, 굳이 take를 넣으실 필요는 없습니다 ^^> majority of them would be confused. Also, as a teenager's future holds a variety of possibilities, what we/educators 라는 단어가 여기에 맞는지 잘 모르겠네요. 이 글을 쓰시는 분이 어른이라던가 선생님이라면 이해가 되지만 그런 부분들이 나오지 않았기 때문에, we보다는 educator라는 단어가 더 잘 맞는 것 같습니다> should do is trying to make them opened open to all kinds of subject to find out what their potentials are. When I was a freshman in high school I was not sure of what I am in capable of. However, after taking various courses such as mathematics and physics, I realized that I am deeply interested in architecture. As a result, those courses I took in high school greatly helped me choose choosing my major.
Lastly, a school cannot handle the entire demands of students to take classes that they want. supportive sentence 써주세요~ If the majority of students sign up for only few classes, the school will be in a big trouble. As teaching resources such as teachers and laboratories are limited, a school need to organize the course schedule in order to lead students to better learning. Contrast to a university, a high school is not capable of accepting all students' demand/demands of all the students for class schedule. Thus, in consideration of school management, leaving classes to be taken on discretion of students cannot be done.
To sum up, allowing students to take classes with what they want leaves many disadvantages. They cannot properly choose which courses to take and it will harm their capacity as a social member. In this regard, I firmly believe that we should not let high school students to study subjects only that they only want to do.
문단 구분 잘 해주세요~ body 의 경우, 한 문장 쓰시고 line을 바꾸셨는데 한 문단은 계속 이어서 써주시길 바랍니다. 수고하셨습니다 ^^ |