▶ Your Answer :
The reading passage argues that the economic value of building a new athletic stadium for the city is enormous However, according to the lecture, all of the positive effects of athletic stadium described in the reading passage are greatly exaggerated and superficial. The lecturer states that building the stadium would not be a long-sighted investment for the city, but (but은 에쎼이에서 안써주시는게 좋습니다. so , but들은 speaking 에서 쓰는 단어지 writing 에선 쓰지않습니다.) a tremendous burden on the city's revenue and its economy. To be specific, hiring many workers who are needed in construction and administration of the stadium is only temporary. Also, the players or faculties associated with a sports team might just pick up the fruits of the city's boosted economy. While the reading passage proposes that the new stadium will attract more visitors, improve local business and increase the city's revenue, the lecturer casts doubt on the argument. (문장이 너무 길어서 몇번 읽어본 뒤에서야 겨우 이해를 할수있었네요 ㅠㅠ.. 최대한 문장을 짧게 써주는게 좋아요 그래야 이해하기 편합니다..) For instance, considering the effect which might occur when spending money on other purposes, such as investing in college research facility or directly doing PR project for the city, building a new athletic stadium cannot be justified. For these reasons, the speaker is strongly opposed with the argument that the new athletic stadium will boost the local economy and benefit all residents in the city.
Comment: 이렇게 쓰시면 아마 높은점수를 받기는 힘들거라고 생각합니다. 리딩 페세지처럼, 인트로, 바디, 컨클루전 이런식으로 문단을 나눠주셔야하는데, 지금 문단도 하나도 나눠주시지 않으셨고... 그래서 내용파악이 상당히 힘듭니다. 어디서 문단을 끊어야 하는지를요. 모델에쎄이를 한번 보시고 , 비슷하게 써보셨으면 좋겠습니다. 문법같은경우나 어휘도 딱히 부족한 점들은 많이 보이지 않았기때문에, 충분히 잘해내실수있습니다. 수고하셨어요 |