▶ Your Answer :
An intriguing topic of discussion at hand is whether scientists are responsible for the negative impact of their discoveries. The answer to this question can vary greatly, depending on the individual perspectives. Thus, the jury may still be out, but as far as I am concerned, I disagree with the statement. (이와는 좀 다르게 써보실 능력이 충분히 있으신 것 같은데요?! ^^) In this essay I will present two reasons supporting my standpoint as follows.
To begin with, the important thing is not what is discovered or invented, but how to use. In other words, knowledge itself is neither bad nor good, while people can utilize it for evil/bad knowledge on bad purpose. Therefore, people should not limit discoveries or invention by burdening responsibilities on scientists. Instead, inappropriate use of knowledge should be regulated. For example, if a person commits a murder with a knife, we do not punish its maker for making a knife. The reason is that the maker just made a knife for people without any harmful purpose. (이번 문단에 총 6개의 문장이 있습니다. 그런데 4번째 문장까지는 어떻게보면 같은 말을 반복하고 있습니다. 같은 발명품이라도 좋게 사용된 경우와 반대되는 경우를 구체적으로 써보시는 것은 어떨까요? Knife 예로 드셨는데 이것을 좋게 사용한 경우로 언급해주시면 좋겠어요. 그리고는 끝맺음까지 넣어주시구요~)
On top of that, it is impossible to forecast what impacts discoveries will have in the future. This is attributed to the reason that a single trivial discovery can greatly affect human lives when combined with other knowledge making a synergy effect. For instance, take a look at the invention of nuclear bomb. When a scientist discovered the existence of nuclear and its energy, nobody could expect it will bring about disasters because it seemed just beneficial information. However, people continually developed technologies to harness its power and succeeded by using numerous other scientific foundations. As we all know, this successful result, nuclear bomb, ended up killing thousands of thousand people and is still threatening people around the world.
In conclusion, I strongly argue for my standpoint on account of the two reasons mentioned above. Once again, the verdict may still be out. However, I personally believe that two of my rationales are sufficiently convincing enough to represent the viewpoints of the majority of people who are in favor of my claim. (외어서 쓰신 표현 말고 참신하게 자신만의 표현으로 글 마무리해보는 것은 어떨가요?)^^
표현력이 상당하십니다~ 잘 쓰셨습니다! 위에 말씀드렸던 부분만 좀 체크해주시고요~ 기왕이면 템플릿대로 가지 마시고 본인만의 표현을 사용해보는 것도 좋겠습니다! 수고하셨습니다~ |