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People usually want to have good friends enjoy to relate with friends in their lives. Some people think that it is better to have intelligent friends. On the contrary, others argue that friends who have a great sense of humor stand out the most. I also believe that humorous friends have greater more great influence on my life since they help me relieve my stress as well as bring out a better result.
First of all, it is a great way to relieve stress of stress relief to hang out with affectionate affactionate and friendly friends. (supportive sentence 써주세요~ 왜 그런 친구들과 함께 하는 것이 스트레스 해소에 좋다고 생각하는 지를 써주시면 되요. 예를 들어 엔도르핀을 언급하실 수도 있겠죠?) Many people usually meet friends friedns when they are very tired and stressed out. (그런가요? 억지스러운 문장은 쓰지 않는 것이 좋습니다. 친구들과 힘들고 스트레스 받을 때만 만나나요? 혹은 이런 의미를 전달하려 하시던 거 아닌가요? 친구는 모든 일과를 끝낸 후 만나기 때문에 보통 몸이 피곤한 상태가 되어 있다. 어떤 것을 말씀하시려던 건가요? 정확한 표현이 중요한 이유입니다!) Even for me, whenever I have a hard time studying and relating with strange people. (문장 아직 다 안끝났습니다. 완성시켜주세요~) If I have intelligent friends, I would not find out pleasure and would get only official advice. For example, I met a friend who was smart but not humorous in university was on friendly terms with smart friends who did not have any humor in my university. For four years of my university life, she had only talked about studying so that I was quiet depressed whenever I was with her During my university life, I was very depressed because my firend talked only something related to studying to me. conslusively, In this regard, I think it is better to have having relationship with expressive and humorous friends firends is better in reliving stress.
Another reason is that it brings out a greater result (어떤 result 를 말씀하시는 건가요?) to have a relationship with humorous friends. People conceive ingenuity when they are not obsessed with something such as work and studying. (유머러스한 친구와 함께 있으면 창의력이 키우게 된다는 연결고리가 일단은 필요할 것 같구요. 또한 이 점을 prove 할 수 있는 자료나 예시 같은 것들이 제시되면 좋을 것 같습니다.) Since inventiveness is a crucial factor to succeed in in succeding in any field, friends who have different point of view (이 부분이 잘 정리되어야 할 것 같습니다. 유머와 창의력을 연결시키기 쉽지 않네요.) it contributes to results. To illustrate, my sister worked at advertising the a advertise company and had very humorous friends. She often had a meeting with them, which made her feel freedom. After she returned to the home, she conceived very creative scenes. In conclusion, she had many compliments from co-workers and the boss. Therefore, having a good relationship with humorous friends helps people have a better result. (유머러스한 친구들이 조금은 우스꽝스러운 아이디어, 다른 사람들이 생각하지 않는 엉뚱함을 가지고 있다는 내용들이 조금 들어가야 유머와 창의성이 연결될 수 있을 것 같습니다.)
In conclusion, while some people think that it would be helpful to have clever friends firends, I contend that it is better for people to have a good relationship with humorous friends. It is because they provide their friends with source to relieve stress great source of stress relief and help them succeed in the actual field.
Typographical error 만들지 않도록 주의 부탁드립니다. 전반적인 글의 흐름을 논리적인 순서로 잘 배열하실 필요가 있어보입니다. Comment 해드린 부분 기억하시면서 천천히 그러나 꼼꼼하게 다시 써보시는 것이 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고하셨습니다~ ^^ |