▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable
whether most difficulties that people face in their lives actually make them stronger.
However, in my opinion, when people deal with their difficulties, they become stronger
than before and mature because they can develop themselves and get various or valuable
experience.
To begin with, when facing
difficulties, many people can improve their skills and get a personal development.
They would get to know how to handle a series of problems or understand differences among manage contradiction
from other people. As a result, they solve the problems through perfect or effective
ways that they found. To illustrate, a study has carried an experiment and the experts divided separate children to two groups, the first group that consisted of children who got many
help from their parents and the second group that consisted of children who had no any
help. The second group was more likely to be more rigorous than the first one (How?) and their
independence was higher than the first group.
On top of that, most
difficulties make people try to have something new and might lead them to achieve a considerable
success. They face difficulties and adventure new world or anything they can
encounter, which would be advantages for their lives. For example, my sister
had bad grades in her academic performances and were hugely concerned about these problems
all day long. Nevertheless, she never gave up any subjects and had an effort on her grades, solving breaking her sleeping bad habits and time for using phone and writing a making a detailed future concrete plan. This
gave her big changes and she got good grades.
To sum up, through
most difficulties people can develop their abilities to handle any problems and
improve their quality of lives. and People can success succeed and be more powerful
person. In this regard, difficulties mostly have major roles in people’s lives,
especially they help people to be stronger than before and to be succeed.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | Score | Fair 18-23 |
- 사람들이 발견한 perfect/effective ways란 무엇인지 바로 다음 문장에 자세히 밝혀주시는 것이 좋겠습니다.
- 정관사 사용에 유의하여 주세요. - 실험예시가 상당히 간단하게만 전개가 되어있는데 자세한 과정을 언급해주셔야 합니다. - success의 동사 형태인 succeed로 바꾸어주셔야 합니다. |
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