반대입니다.
그렇다고 방을 더럽게 해야한다는 말이 아니라
방의 청결도와 학생의 능력은 관계가 없다는 뜻인데....
전체 425 단어이고요, 바디1이 바디2에 비해서 좀 긴가요?
첨삭부탁드려요!
Some people think that how clean his room can affect a student’s accomplishment because organized room gives him a fresh feeling. However, I strongly disagree with these people because students don’t spend most of their time in their rooms and also because one’s accomplishment depends more on how hard he works.
To begin with, most students spend their time at schools, not in their rooms. Let’s see what happens to students on a typical day. Schools start at 7 or 8 o’ clock in the morning, and are over at 3 or 4 o’ clock, which means that students spend many hours ranging from 7 to 9 hours. That is more than a quarter of the day, and many students sleep for another quarter of the day, leaving about 12 hours. Do students spend all these 12 hours studying in their rooms? No. They eat, use bathrooms, hang out with their friends for an hour or two, and even watch TV shows or play games. In fact, students don’t spend much time in their rooms, and even if they do, the hours would be less than the hours they spend at school. Also, there are other sources of distractions at home, such as pets, younger brothers or sisters, and phones. Therefore, students would not be able to study at home, not only because of messy room, but also because of other sources of distractions, which means that how clean his room is cannot determine whether he’ll be successful or not.
In addition, one’s environment is not a significant factor that affects one’s life. Whether one can succeed or not depends on how hard he works, not on how clean his room is. If one’s ability is great enough, he should be able to overcome the problems of his circumstances. For example, Alexander Fleming was known for having a messy laboratory, but he studied very hard and finally discovered an antibiotic called penicillin. Another historical figure that overcame hard environments and became famous was Thomas Edison. Even though everyone jeered him when he failed to make light bulbs, Edison kept trying and was finally able to invent light bulbs. This proves that success in fact is more up to how hard one tries, not on how good the circumstances are.
To sum up, students don’t spend much time in their rooms, and even if they do, cleanliness of a room cannot affect his life more than his effort can do. Thus, I think that cleaning one’s room doesn’t help students be successful in their school work.