Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should give the same amount of money to their students' sports activities as they give to their university libraries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. |
There is an ongoing debate over whether or not universities should give the same amount of money to their students’ sports activities as they are doing for their university libraries. Some are against the proposition, saying that we must spend more money for libraries. Others, however, believe that sports activities have positive impacts on students. Thus, I agree with the latter stance and present my reasons below. Heath is the most important thing of our living. And the exercise for young people is helpful to keep themselves in good health and make some hormones to be healthy. As you know, students need much time to reach their dream and goal. So they didn't make any effort to work out for their health. That is thing what I have concerned. If many sports facilities are in the campus, all of students could be easily available for exercise in campus. As a student, they should improve their sociological mind. They could learn how to build up the teamwork controling one’s mind and membership in society. But nobody teach about them. They could appreciate that with their own experience. So sports activities can help students to raise and teach the things. If there are many sports activities, students can participate in activities easily, they could make a right mind that is useful to access in society. For example, when I was a freshman in high school, the sports facilities are a few in my campus. So we requested to increase the play ground like basketball floor and field for soccer, after few years. All of students could enjoy the variety of activities easily as more facilities are built up. We could make a deep friendship through sports activities, and be heathier. To summarize, although everyone may take a different position on whether universities invest the same amount of money for their students’ activities as they give to their library or not. Also, spending the money for their library is important. But it is not less important than sports activities, because we can be healier than before with various exercises and learn many sociological minds through sports activities. So I emphasize the universities should give the same amount of money to their students sports activities as they give to their university library.
마이너한 것만 수정해 보왔습니다. 본문의 구체적 예시가 소주제문 백업하기 조금 약한 듯 합니다. 그리고 본문2 길이 길게 작성한 반면 본문1은 좀 적네요. 결론은 문제에서 나온 문장이 여러차례 반복된듯 합니다. 다른 표현으로 사용하는 것이 좋을 듯 합니다. |