Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The Internet is a valuable source of information. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 제발 첨삭 부탁드려요~~^ |
Computers have become an extremely important part of our lives, and people from all walks of life routinely use the Internet to find all kinds of information, ranging from the trivial to the academic. So, I agree that the Internet is important for finding an(x) information because the Internetàit makes us convenient and fast to find things. (Because the internet makes us convenient and fast to find things. à Because of its speed and convenience.) First of all, the Internet helps us to find a(x) information quickly and conveniently. In the past, we haveà had to use books to research somethingsàsomething. It takesàtook a lot of time, and it is inconvenient because we have to find a book's title and pages. However, if we use the Internet, we just type the key words that you want to find, we can find a(x) information very conveniently and quickly. For example, when I have(had가 더 적절할 듯..) an assignment that find a information on bird migration which only have 2days to finished. I have found in a book, but it is old information and they have some don't needed it information. So I spend a 2days for find a one information that I needed, and I can't finish the assignment on time. >>> 제가 독해가 좀 딸려서 바꿔봤씀니다– For example, when I had an assignment about bird migration. I used book as my research source, but It took long time to find books about bird migration and the information I found was very old to use it on my paper. (예시에, 인터넷을 사용했더니 정보도 정확성과 속도가 빨라서 편리했다.. 라고 넣어두 괜찮을 듯.. Moreover, the Internet helpàhelps to develop the society, such as advertisement. In the Internet, they have a special advertisement system, for example, some front of the sites, they have a reflection advertisement. Some of these, give viewer funàsome of these advertisements can give viewers fun Also, the Internet have an online-shopping system. Some people said that online-shopping system is not accurate and safety, however, now is different. There are many security systems. Even if they have a security problem, they also have a solution. For example, when I wanted to buy a CD player, I have a problem because I am correct to apply a CD player and pay them money, but the goods is(are??) not commingàcoming. So the online-shopping mall' manager have cancel the application and givedàgave back money(money back) to me. Therefore if we have a problem with security, they have also solution for that. So we don't need to worry at all. But it is true that the security problem is serious, so we have to careful everytime. To conclude, it is true that the Internet have lots of problems, so we need to careful when we use the Internet. I think the Internet is a great invention, if we take care ourselves.
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뭐.. 저두 잘 하지는 못하지만 ㅜㅡ, 공부한다는 느낌으로 한번해보긴 했네요 ^^
제 글두 하나 제대루 못쓰면서,, 남의 글 이러케 하는게 조금은 창피하네요 >,<
문장구조나,, 내용면에선 제가 잘 하지 못하니까... 입 다물고 있겠습니다 하하 ㅡㅡ;;
그래두,, 문법적인 실수?! 가 조금씩 보이네요..^^