■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. You response will be judge on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : Airplanes have made a greater impact on society than cars.
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▶ Your Answer : There is a famous Korean proverb,” Rome was not built in a day.” To make Korea into a (관사 사용) well developed country, much technology is demanded for a nice consequence. My grandmother always told me that there are many examples of developed mechanisms. He (grandmother = she) usually said, things that were recently invented by using the nearest science technology would give the biggest impact to the society. For my point, cars do not have made have not made a greater impact on society than airplanes for the following two reasons. To begin with, airplanes are much better for letting people to move to other places in a flash. For the disadvantage of my choice, as airplanes need a lot of fuel, it can contribute cause (contribute = 기여하다, cause = 초래하다) pollution to the environment. For example, the energy is provided by the complicated experiment. While making the energy, a lot of harmful substances are emitted leading to the danger of the living creatures’ life lives (단복수). For the advantage, people are able to enjoy their trip. Cars cannot let people move to other countries as cars only run on the road. However, with planes, as they can fly over the sea, people can travel whenever they want to go to other nations. To go Going to Busan which is located at the edge of the South Korea (고유명사에는 the를 쓰지 않습니다), it takes about 5 hours to go there by car. However, if people take an airplane, they can go to Busan by taking in only 30 minutes. Hence, airplanes have made a greater impact than cars for the transportation. Moreover, airplanes are mostly used for the trade among other countries. As airplanes can fly very fast over the sea, it is possible to trade each countries’ products. For the disadvantage, there are sometimes arguments among other countries. Problems must appear if countries trade with each other for a long time. Then, each nations nation (each + 단수명사) claim claims (주어동사 일치) their its point only which leads to the fight. For the advantage, people are able to enjoy a comfortable life thanks to the trade. Airplanes are able to carry a lot of burdens or luggages. Therefore, airplanes gave more impact on the society regarded to regarding trade. In conclusion, spending less time for moving and active trade are the two reasons why my point is that I think cars do not have have not made greater influence than airplanes. Some argue that there are much many (가산명사: many 불가산명사: much) more people who use cars contributing more impact. However, airplanes are more helpful for many various things. It is predicted that airplanes will be used more in the future than cars. |
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점수: 20/30
글 쓰실 때 문장 하나하나 문법 체크하는 습관을 기르시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
주어와 동사가 일치하는지, he or she를 바르게 지칭하였는지, 올바른 관사를 썼는지 등등을 확인하시면서 글을 쓰시면 훨씬 더 좋은 글이 나올 것 같습니다.
그리고 topic sentence를 굳이 고쳐드리자면... Cars have not made greater influence than airplanes 보다는 Airplanes have made greater influence than cars have 가 훨씬 더 자연스러운 문장입니다.
부정문 보다는 긍정문을 사용하시는것을 더 추천드립니다.
파이팅! *^^*