▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that people in modern era
cannot do many things well. However, I believe the modern people can do so many
things well than our ancestor did for the following reasons: first, we have the
longer free time enough to do many things, and
second, we can get various experiences through media.
Above all, the modern people have the time enough
to experience so many things nowadays. To begin with, modern people have enough time to experience many medium. It is because we can save so much time thanks
to the development of technology. Since the technological development, a lot of time has been saved. For example, even just a few decades ago, we
cannot go to other region far from us within a short time. However, thanks to
the development of transportation technology, we can go abroad just within tens
of hours. In other words, the modern people have the longer free time thanks to
this development, and so we can spend that time for other experience like studying
foreign languages. Such theory means, we can have more spare time to experience valuable variables such as foreign language. As a result, we can be good at various things.
On top of that, we can get various experiences
through modern media, such as computer, television, and cell phones. Thanks to
that, we can do many things well. In my case, I cannot cook well a few years
ago. However, I have practiced practiced cooking alone by watching television programs
and Youtube cooking class video, and as a result, I can cook well now. It was
impossible for the people who lived a few decades ago, because they were
lacking of these media lacked information contained media. In this context, the modern people can gain much of experience
through various media which helps them to do various things well.
In brief, not only do the modern people
have time enough enough time to experience various activities, but also we can get various experience
through modern media. Therefore, I believe the modern people can do many things
well. Fair: 17~23 점수: 19 일단 전체적으로 문법적 오류들이 많습니다. 문법적 오류들이 많기 때문에 전체적인 에세이플로우를 방해하 고 있습니다. 특히 두 번째 바디에서는 좀 더 구체적인 설명이 필요해보입니다. 문법적인 부분 빼고는 크게 많이 문제가 없는 에세이입니다. 전체적으로 예시들이 이유를 잘 서포트 하고 있고요. 수고많으셧습니다. |