■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer | |
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Topic : A friend of yours has received some money and plans to use all of it either - to go on vacation - to buy a car. Your friend has asked you for advice. Compare your friend's two choices and explain which one you think your friend should choose. Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.
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Here, there is a friend of mine who has received money and free time to use from his company, and he has still considered whether he buys a car or not. However, if he asks me my advice, I will recommend him to go on vacation instead of buying a car since he can relieve lots of his stress from work. Moreover, if he spends the free time to go on vacation with his family, family bonds will be stronger.
Once people go to work every in the morning, a lot of works are waiting for them, so now many people have struggled with their stress from work. However, if you go on vacation in your free time, it will definitely help you to relieve your stress. It has been reported by McGill University in Canada. The study says that the number of those who suffer from severe stress while working has increased by 10% each year. From my personal experience, when I worked at a production company, I had a friend called “workaholic”. We called him as “workaholic” because he worked without any short breaks. However, he quit the job in the end because he could not endure his stress. Personally, I think that if he had had several short vacations, he could have relieved his stress, of course, then he didn't decide to stop working. This example demonstrates that how much important releasing stress through vacations is.
Furthermore, if you go on vacation with family, it will be the time that you are getting close to them. Now, many company have always recruited young guns (급속히 변하는 사회에 발맞추기 위해). Therefore, many people have worked without even enough sleep because they do not want to lose a job, and as a result, the time to talk with one’s family at home has been decreased. However, if you go on vacation with your family, family bonds will be much stronger. For instance, I had not traveled with my family before I was 20 years old because my mother and father were so busy. One day, since my father received a plan from his company, and my mother was retired finally we had a chance to go on vacation together. After we enjoyed the vacation, I became more talkative in front them, and I felt more comfortable with them.
Many people may like buying a new car, but if you save the money and spend for anothers, such as going on vacation, you will get more valuable things for your life. You can relieve your stress from work, and you can also get stronger family bonds. | |
일단 튜터A님이 올려주신 185가지주제 너무 유용한것 같아요. 정말 감사합니다. 시험전까지 다 써보진 못하겠지만
빈도 높은거라도 한번 쭉 써보고 가도록 노력 해야겠네요.
처음으로 450자를 넘겨봤습니다. 당연히 시간도 45분이나 걸렸구요. 시험에선 제가 감당이 안되는 분량이긴 하나 연습하는동안 한번 해보자는식으로 해봤는데. 정말 30분안에 400자 450자 쓰시는 분들 정말 대단하다라는걸 느꼈어요.
첨삭해주시면 또 감사하겠습니다. 오늘도 써보면서 도무지 어떻게 써야하나 싶은 부분이 있어서 또 색을 입혀봤습니다.
아참 그리고 time, the time, 부분이 잘 쓰여졌는지도 좀 봐주셨으면 감사하겠습니다. 헤깔리더 라구요. (__)