Teachers can be described by (into) two different characters. One is serious and strict(,) and 1. the other another is humorous and easygoing. In this modern society, many parents debate on which characteristic is 2. more suitable better ability to teach students. The view on (of it) this matter varies from person to person. However, I strongly believe that teachers should be entertaining rather than serious. This is because students tend to rely on teacher who is funny, and students do not like to study when the teacher is severe.
1. 보통 두 개 중에서 “하나, 그리고 다른 하나” 라고 쓸 때는 one is~, the other~ 이라고 씁니다.
2. 성격의 차이로 better ability 를 말하기는 어렵습니다. 다만 어떤 성향의 선생님들이 아이에게 더 나을지를 이야기할 뿐입니다.
This is true that students have a tendency to of hanging out with their teachers (more) when 1. it is they are enjoyable to be together. For this reason, teachers [can have an opportunity to know] about students' difficulty immediately and can help out students to solve the problems. In contrast, student do not get close to harsh teachers(,) thus these teachers will never going to 2. know about inner side of inside of students. According to recent research conducted by Seoul University, most of students talk about their school life with teachers depending depends on whether he or she (students) are comfortable enough has witty to release their stress, which comes is from their problems. This is clear proof that humorous teachers are more suitable to be a teacher.
1. it (가주어)~ to(진주어) 구문을 이용해야 “함께 하는 것이 즐거울 때“ 라는 의미가 제대로 통하게 될 것 같습니다.
2. know 는 목적어를 쓸 때 굳이 전치사를 넣을 필요가 없습니다.
3. 한 문장에 주어가 두 개 이상 나올 수 없는데 이 문장에서는 talk 와 depends 두 개가 나와있습니다. 따라서 본동사인 talk 는 살려두고 depend를 고쳐주어야합니다.
Additionally, students do not participate in on boring class which is taught by serious teacher(,) and it causes decrease of efficiency in studying that cause diminishes of effort on studying. This is the fact that teachers have to talk about entertaining example to keep students focus on lesson (subjects). If teachers do have students' attention (maintain interest of students), students will remember what they learned for longer time and result in better grades. For instance, my friend, Sunny, was not good at math at eleventh grade. When he, however, met a teacher, who knows a lot jokes, his test marks began to increase; and finally he got A in his math class. 1. After all, he was tedious about math teacher means of teaching.
1. 같은 예화를 이야기하는데 진행되어온 이야기의 내용과 마지막이 일치하지 않습니다. 앞에서는 계속 농담을 잘하는 재밌는 수학선생님을 만나서 성적이 몰랐다는 내용인데 마지막 문장에서는 ‘지루한’을 의미하는 tedious 를 써서 앞의 내용과 연결이 안되고 있습니다. 다시 한번 살펴볼 필요가 있습니다.
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