Which is better for children? Some people think that children should spend most of their time on school studies. In contrast, other say that it is not very necessary for children to spend their time on school studies. However, after some reflection, I think that it is much better for children not to spend most of their time on school studies. This is mainly due to the fact that even though the school studies are important for them, it is not an essential part of their life in their future. Moreover, parents are responsible for finding their aptitudes and developing the abilities.
First of all, in my opinion, I completely disagree with the given statement. This is because that the school studies do not play a significant role in making a genuine person. I believe that it is very important to build a good personality. In this sense, childhood is a definitely critical period of development of personality. Even if children who systematically receive a formal education can greatly perform the good academic skills, they might be lack of building a good character. Therefore, if children only spend most of their time on studies, they could miss such a important period which they cannot experience after childhood.
In addition, I believe that parents should help them to discover their aptitudes and develop the abilities. In other words, not everyone has an aptitude for school studies. For instance, some children might have a talent for music, while some children might be good at sports. Therefore, it is much more important that parents should try to discover what they prefer and which area they are interested in. Thus, if parents realize their potential ability and give them an opportunity to develop that, it would be a great advantage for them in the future.
1. 어떤 아이들은, 반면 어떤아이들은 : 이 표현쓸때 도입부에 쓴 some~ , other~ 은 상방되는 의미인거 같아서
some~, some~ 썻는데.. 어떤지요..
다시한번 문법위주로 봐주셨으면 좋겠습니다.
감사합니다..