As society has been changed, many people improve their skills in order to adapt the present society. Some people said that focusing on one skill is better than developing many different skills. However, I think that the present society requires various experiences and many different abilities, so many people try to have many abilities to survive in highly competitive world. In this essay, I present briefly two reasons to support my opinion.
Firstly, the present society requires people who have lots of experiences and various skills. This is because, in this various society, various skills can be adapted to many different fields. Therefore, people can do any tasks by using their diverse abilities because these diverse abilities are based on diverse backgrounds. According to a survey, conducted by research team of Tokyo University, more than seventy percent of businessmen, they working in various fields, answered that developing many different skills are more helpful to be a specialist in their fields. It shows that focusing on one skill makes people have narrow perspective, but developing various skills makes people broaden their sight. Therefore, I believe that improving various skills is better than concentrating on one skill.
In addition, people can find their aptitude by experience of (experiencing) many different skills. This is because(,) many people have difficulty in finding their aptitude by themselves. However, by learning diverse skills, people can realize their talents(,) and they try to be an expert in their field. One example is my sister. She My sister didn’t realize what she wanted wants when she was university student. Then, she decided to have a many different skills, and she tried try to have a various experiences and abilities. As a result, she can find her aptitude and obtain a job what she wants. It clearly shows that developing various skills is the best way of finding their talents and realizing what they are interested in. Consequently, I believe that to have various skills is the best way of living their life.
In conclusion, focusing on one skill might be helpful since people can concentrate on their work or field. However, by developing various abilities, people can do their work easily since various abilities can be adapted to various fields. Also, people can find their aptitude. As a result, I strongly believe that developing many different skills is better than focusing on one skill.
* focusing on 과 같이 동사를 명사화(동명사)해서 주어를 많이 만드셨는데, 모든 문장을 같은 형식으로 쓰는 것보다는 to focus, focus 등을 써주는 것이 좋습니다.
* various ability, various skills, 도 다소 많이 쓰인 감이 있습니다. 유사한 문장도 반복되는 경향이 있는데 단어와 문장의 반복을 피하는 것이 필요합니다. ^^ variety of experience/skills 등을 써주셔도 좋습니다. hands-on 은 직접 해본다(체험)는 뜻이 있습니다. 이러한 표현도 활용하면 좋을 것 같습니다.