▶ Your Answer : Some people think that buying domestic products is better than foreign ones. However, I think only buying domestic ones is not good because of the quality of products and foreign products are rare. its rarity
First and foremost, buying a foreign products shows outstanding effectiveness in increasing domestic companies' creativity because they will try to make better products to compete foreign ones. Modern society admittedly requires products that surpass other ones both in specialty and creativity. To be specific, making creative products is necessary qualifications for any successful companies. Give Given the need for collaboration, by purchaisng purchasing foreign products, domestic companies will strive for making more creative and ingenious products so customer could buy better products. According to the survey conducted by Seoul National University, researchers investigated two companies. One company sold its products without competition and another company do does not. The researchers surveyed the quality of two companies products. The former ones were worse than the latter ones. In the case of formal company, they did not any strive for making better ones since there was no competitive companies. This demonstrates effects that buying foreign ones make domestic companies make better products. 뭔가 이 바디는 개연성이 부족한 거 같습니다. 너무 장황하게 서술하여서 그런건지 이 바디를 통해서 어떠한 말을 하려고 하는 지 알 수 가 없습니다. 좀 더 내수 시장의 장점에 대한 것에 중점을 두는 것이 좋을 거 같습니다.
Moreover, foreign products could give specialty to its users. This is because most of the customers buy products made in their countries since if there is some problems in the products, it is easier to get repair than foreign products. Also, buying process of foreign ones is more complicated because of shipments and taxes. As a consequence, there are not many people using foreign ones so if people use foreign products, it can give its users specialty. My personal experience can be used to prove my point. When the smartphones were first released, it was really hard to buy Iphone in Korea so I asked my friends who lived in America to buy and send me. The Iphone was really fuctional functional and easy to use but the most statisfied satisfied thing was there were no people who used Iphone. I felt considerable specialty when I used it.
To sum up, buying foreign products is better becuase because they could Fair: 17~23 점수: 19 일단 결론이 너무 짧습니다. 바디를 장황하게 서술하였는데 결론을 한 문장으로 끝내는 것은 적절치 않다라는 생각 이 듭니다. 또한 전반적으로 각 바디들이 어떤 말을 전달하려고 하는 건지 모르겠습니다. 전체적인 틀이 무엇인지 알겠스나, 에세이가 너무 장황스럽기 때문에 구체적으로 어떠한 말을 하려고 하는지를 잘 모르겠습니다. 따라서 장황하게 에세이를 서술하는 것 보다는 간결하게 본인의 에세이를 서술하시는 것이 본인의 의견을 전달하는 것에 있어서는 더 좋을 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |