▶ Your Answer : Some people might say that college students need to do volunteer work obligatory. However, in my opinion, it is necessary for them to select whether they do volunteer work. To begin with, people tend to dislike when they are forced to do something mandatory. To be specific, when people do something what they like, the result and process might be great. For example, there was a survey conducted by a sociology majors, with 200 university stuents as respondents. The purpose of the survey was to understand their thoughts about the detail rules the university made. The majority of the respondents replied that it rather makes students oppose about it. An overwhelming 80% responded that students need to decide what they want to do. This survey shows that the university should not force for students to do volunteer work. On top of that, today's students are already aware of the importance of volunteering. So they might already have volunteer hours. For instance, I will talk about one of my friends as an example. She is very interested in getting a job named "Hanmi". They require 200 hours of volunteering work during university life. So she constantly makes an effort to participate in volunteering. In this sense, college should not need to let them attend volunteering compulsory. To sum up, volunteering work should be free for college stuents. I strongly agree with this statement. Fair: 17~23 점수: 18 일단 전체적으로 에세이가 너무짧습니다. 핵심내용을 설명한다라고 느낌이 드는 것이 아니라 표면적으로 겉핧기 한다라는 느낌이 듭니다. 좀 더 구체적인 예시와 설명이 필요해보입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분은 본인의 에세이를 통하여서 상대방을 설득 할 수 있냐 입니다. 이러한 면에 있어서는 짧은 에세이는 부족합니다 따라서 좀 더 길게 설명을 더 넣어주시면 좋은 점수를 받을 수 있을 거 같아요. 수고많으셨습니다. |