Topic - what do you think about commuist country or democratice country? which is better? use specific example to suggest your answer.
우선 structure에 신경을 써달라고 말씀드리고 싶네요
Intro- body 1-body 2- conclusion...(usually..)
paragraph도 나눠주시구요, 더 develop하셔도 좋을 것 같구요 ^^
우선 지금은 grammar와 대충 내용만 봐드릴께요
In my opinion is Democratice country is better than Commuist country.
> I think a democratic country is better than a communist country..
or if you want to use "opinion", >> In my opinion, a democratic country~~blabla..
or My opinion is that....
Because Commuist country is obey to president and if they talk badword to president, they will die.
In a communist country, people should obey to the government and disobedience brings about death..
Simply, there is no freedom in that kind of country...
But democratice country is can be talk bad word to president. and we can write in internet
"I dont like president!!"..
In contrast to the communism, democracy allows citizens to have freedom of speech and to share different opinions about society or even about the president...
But Commuist country can not happen.
And Commuist country student every day wearing a same uniform. they wearing a Red scarf and white
Y-shirt and Black pants.
In a communist country, every student should wear same uniform...
빨간 스카프, 하얀 와이셔츠, 검정 펜츠는 북한만 그렇게 입는거 아닌가요? 모든 communist country
가 다 그런건가요? 저걸 쓰고싶다면 뭐 예를 들어서 In one of the communist country, North Korea, students should wear only red scarf, white Y-shirts and black pants at school.....
and Commuist country army is very not good. cause they have to 7 years leave in army. But Democratice country army is have to only 1 year leave in army.
Communism puts a lot of importance on the army to keep the country controlled. In that sense, the
communist government requires people to join the army for a long time...
and I think Commuist country dont have a city.. i think there has only rural.
and they are not development the economy.
city 는 communist country에도 있긴있어요, 발달이 덜 된것 뿐이죠; ㅋ ^^
뭐, A communist country has less developed economy because it blocks a lot of interactions and communication with the rest of the world.....
아 뭐 그런말 하고싶은건가요? According to the communism theory, people should share all the sources
such as money or food to make a good living environment......but it eventually results in less
development as people don't try enough to improve the community ....
In contrast to the communist country, in a democratic country, people can look for their own profits or status, so that it motivates people to work harder, leading to the development of the country.... blabla..
But Democratice country is very good equipment and development the economy. and Democratice country is give many salary to warker.
In a democratic country, people earn money depends on their own skills and performance...
people keep challenge and improve themselves to seek for more satisfaction....
Korea is the best example for this topic.. South Korea has democratic system while North Korea has
communist system for over 50 years.... South Korea has developed so much since the Korean war with democracy while North Korea suffer from isolation and hunger with the extrem stubborn communism..
But Commuist country is not give many salary to worker. So they can not eat some food, and fruit and they can not wearing a good clothes. So they will be a die. Like a north Korea. 1950 North Korea produce the wall. So that we have many hart. so our country has a big crack. ....?
But now South Korea is better than North Korea. South Korea give some food and cow and some medician.
and now some North Korea person come to South Korea. But if North Korea find them. they will be a soul.
Because North Korea is not give to many salary and food and they said "you must hand in many tax."
So they come our country.
I wanna unity the North Korea and South Korea. So that we can leave happy and we give to our country culture and they give they country culture.
But I think we can not unity. Because before 2 months they fire the unclear bomb. and they buy the many weapon and they ready to wall. I think they want destraction . and i think they need a change the method of station. So my opinion is Demoratice country is better than Commuist country, and we need a unity!
South Korea kept trying to unify with North Korea as South Korea has helped North a lot such as sending
food, medicien.. but North Korea still are unduly stubborn... They are still experimenting the nuclear bombs, frightening the rest of the world....
쓸 말이 없으시면 생각나는 말 아무렇게나 써도 괜찮겠지만, 되도록이면
에세이가 더 좋아보일수 있도록, 생각해서 쓰시는 연습도 하시는게 좋을 것 같습니다.
study harder,, Practice is the best teacher...^^
꼭 도움이 됬으면 좋겠습니다.
굳렄,