▶ Your Answer :
It is of great worth to discuss whether it
is more important for universities to invest infrastructure and physical plant
than to invest in keeping the faculty satisfied. The answer to this question
varied greatly depending on each individual’s perspective. As far as I am
concerned, I believe it is more important for universities to invest in infrastructure
and physical plant than to invest in keeping the faculty satisfied. for the following two subsequent reasons.
To begin
with, better infrastructures can help students study in better environment. In
these days, in most colleges there are many buildings that are built very long
ago. As those buildings get older, the buildings lose the function of
preventing noises and do not have air circulating devices to prevent noise and do not have air circulating devices, creating very
distracting atmosphere for studying to study. Therefore, to prevent this happening such incident, the
universities should invest in infrastructure by constructing new buildings that
can prevent distracting noises and make the air fresher with its air
circulation function to prevent numerous distractions In such buildings, students can become more productive
during their study time. The case of my friend Danny is an epitome of this. In his
school, all the buildings were more than 100 years old. As a result, since
these buildings are not able to prevent noises anymore cannot prevent noises, the decibel of noise
inside the buildings were was more than 100, making Danny have time hard time
studying in school. However, when the college build builds new libraries, many
students including Danny were able to study could study in quiet environment, making them
focus on their study even more. Studying in this environment, Danny was able to
get his best grade of all time in the recent final exam.
Another reason for supporting my opinion is
that the faculty working in universities are able to keep themselves satisfied
on their own. Furthermore, faculties can keep themselves satisfied on their own. According to research made by Statistics Korea, it had been
discovered than that college workers such as professors gain 3 times more salary a
year than average the amount since those engaging in such job are in
prestigious position. Therefore, even though there may be stressful situations
while working, they can relieve their stress on their own by using their own
money for various kinds of entertainment even without further support from
college. The case of my friend Don is a concrete example of this. Don is a
professor in Korea university in Korea. In the school, he gains a million
dollar a year although he is just a first year professor. Although he has to
work at least 14 hours a day to gain such amount of money, he never feels
exhausted or even depressed in his life since he can use his income to go to
water parks and stay in luxurious hotels in remaining time. Thus, if the
university spends more on keeping the faculty satisfied, it will be a waste of
money since most of the faculties can spend their money to improve their
well-being like Don.
To
summarize what I mentioned above, I am with the notion that it is more important
for universities to invest in infrastructure and physical plant than to invest
in keeping the faculty satisfied since better infrastrfucture can help students
study in better environment and the faculty in college is able to keep
themselves feel satisfied on their own. Fair: 17~23 졈수: 21 일단 첫 번째 단락이나 두 번째 단락 모두다 개연성을 못 찾겠습니다. 왜 이러한 이유들이 대학들이 인프라에 돈을 투자 해야하는 지에 대한 설명이 명확하게 드러나지 않았던 거 같습니다. 각 단락의 예시나 이유들이 이러한 것에 대해서 설명하는 것 보다는 전반적인 학교 상태에 대하여서 설명하는 느낌이 듭니다. 따라서 이유와 예시들이 주제를 벗어난 거 같습니다. 또한 이 에세이에서 나타나는 문제점은 장황함입니다. 이 에세이는 전체적으로 장호아하게 서술된 거 같습니다. 장황하기 때문에 에세이 플로우가 제대로 전달되는 거 같지가 않습니다. 따라서 이러한 부분들을 숙지하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셧습니다.
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