■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : Do you agree or disagree with the following
statement? Reading books is a more satisfying pastime than watching movies. |
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▶ Your Answer :
Movie
industries are getting bigger ever than before. Nowadays, many people think
that watching a movie is the most satisfying pastime. In my opinion, however,
reading a book is a more satisfying pastime than watching a movie. This is mainly
because books are more interesting and cost-efficient than movies.
First
of all, books are more imaginative than movies. This is attributable to the
fact that movies have limitation in presenting a person’s imagination. In fact,
all the visual and auditory effects of a movie can disturb a person’s limitless
imagination. There are lots of movies which have failed to express all the imagination
that the original book had given to readers. For example, I found the movie Harry Potter less interesting compared to the original book Harry Potter. All the scenes
were very disappointing compared to the scenes that I had pictured in my mind through
reading the book. This indicates that state-of-the-art technologies performed in
movies might look like fascinating, but it cannot be compared to a person’s
imagination.
Secondly,
books are more cost-efficient than movies. This is due to the fact that watching
a movie costs as much as buying a book. Given that a movie only runs about 3
hours at maximum, people can read a book anytime they want if they buy one. There
are even secondhand bookstores where used books are sold at very reasonable prices.
Furthermore, people can enhance their reading and writing abilities by reading
a book. A recent study conducted by Kim et al. (이름이 Kim et al. 인건가요?) revealed that students who like reading
books achieved significantly higher scores on their language exams compared to
the students who do not enjoy reading. In addition to that, a supplementary
survey reported that 95% of world-famous writers read books at least two hours a
day. These results demonstrate that reading books is a very conducive way to develop
one’s language skills.
In
summary, reading books is not only more interesting than watching movies but
also more economical to spend money and time on. In this regard, I strongly
recommend reading books over watching movies. |
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점수: 25/30
1. 두 번째 바디가 이상합니다. topic sentence는 cost-effective를 말하고 있는데 마지막 문장은 develop one's language skills를 말하고 있습니다.
문단의 처음과 끝이 맞지 않습니다. 차라리 책은 얼마고 영화는 얼마고를 말하는게 더 좋았을 듯 합니다. (토픽 센텐스에서 digress 해버렸음)
2. conclusion 분량이 약간 짧습니다. 문단 당 3문장 이상으로 맞춰주세요.
3. 문법이 굉장히 깔끔합니다. 군더더기 없습니다. 관사 사용만 조금 주의해주세요.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*