■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : Do you agree or diagree with the following statement? These days, being able to work with other people is more critical than it was before. |
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▶ Your Answer :
Some people think
that an ability to work with others is more important than it was in the past,
while others do not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their
views. If I had to choose one, I would say that the capacity to cooperate with
other people plays a more significant role than it did before. There are
several reasons as follows.
To begin with, the
ability to work with others can improve people's work performance. Recently,
tasks get more difficult to be done by one person because a lot of (으로 해야 문맥에 맞습니다)knowledge is needed to
do them, since they become more complex and professinal in comparingson to old tasks. Without
cooperation, people could not finish their jobs efficiently and accuratelyefficiently.
According to a survey conducted by Seoul National University of Koera, over
seventy percent of respondents, who manage a company, answered that they thought an ability to work
with other people as the most important factor in a job interview. However, in
the interview twenty years ago, respondents answered that one's knowledge was
most influential factor in it. This implies that realizing how to coopreate is
the key to success in a work field.
In addition, the
capacity to cooperate greatly affect effects a the harmony of a group. Today's people are
under a lot of pressure and stress due to the competitiveness of society. Thus,
they get hurt their feeling easily and it negatively impact the harmony of the
group. (불필요한 내용입니다).Therefore, such ability is necessary to complete a work especially in
today’s society. For example, when I was in a college, I joined a music band.
One of our member had a good skill to play guitar, however, he was selfish. (설명이 더 필요합니다.) Even though he was really needed for our performance, the other members could
not accept his behavior and expeled expelled him because they were already tired with
work in school. If he had had the ability to keep in harmony in the band, he
would have been able to stay in it.
All tihngs things considered, realizing how to cooperate with others is more essential in today’s
society. All in all, such ability should not be underestimated.
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Score: 15
Comments:
- 구조가 잘 잡혀있습니다.
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-결론이 약합니다.