■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :
Do you agree or
disagree with the following statement? Children should have art and music as
mandatory school subjects along with the math, history, science, and language.
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▶ Your Answer :
Some people think art and music should be mandatory
school subjects for children along with math, science, and language, while
others do not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I
had to choose one, I would say that children have to learn art and music as
mandatory subjects. There are several reasons as follows. To begin with, art and music allow students to develop
their creativity. It is necessary for them because creativity plays an important
role in today's society. There are many careers which need creativity to
succeed in their (they=who?) fields, such as programmers, movie directors, and web
designers. According to a survey conducted by Seoul National University of
Korea, over seventy percent of respondents think that art and music education have the greatest influence on developing one's creativity. This implies that
mandatory art and music subjects are the key to success for children in life.
Without learning them mandatorily, a student would fall behind. In addition, children relieve their stress by learning
music and art subjects. They can have a chance to express themselves by
learning these subjects. In comparison to learning other subjects, they are likely
to feel free and just enjoy the moment rather than being bothered to memorize
information. For example, when I was in elementary school, I thought of school as an
exhausting routine and had poor grades in school. However, as I started to
attend music class and sing a song, I was able to forget about my worries and
recharge my batteries. After realizing that, I could focus on other subjects
and get better grades. If I had not attended the class, I would not have been
able to be a more diligent student.
All things considered, I strongly believe that the
advantages of being forced to learn art and music far outweigh those of not forcing the students to learn them. All in all, the importance of art and music should not be
underestimated.
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점수: 27/30
무난하게 잘 쓰셨습니다.
문법적 오류만 수정본 참고하여 고쳐주시면 될 것 같습니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*