▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that following others is safe for succeeding a way to succeed such as studying for grade, getting a lot of engineering license and finding a high salary job. However, in my opinion, we don’t need to prepare similarly with others as we by doing something we don’t want. I think that difference makes us to increase increases our value because there is nobody who can replace us if we had a have unique ability. Let me bring a several reasons why I think so that. To begin with, we have already realized that we can not obtain rare items easily because it is expensive due to limitation of number of that. It means that being unique makes high cost and value. It seems like that we should be valuable person comparing with others if we want to be a successful person. If a high income is one of the a measure of success, we will try to be experts because many pieces of research have shown that professional job earn much money than general jobs. On top of that, I think that the winners of life are the person people who are satisfied with their jobs. Although the salary can be a one of needs, it can not cover whole life. Much money helps us to be convenient convenience, but we may not be sure whether we will be happy by money. We should discover something that gives us happiness and passion. It is strongly hard to find what we want to do if we just follow others. Moreover, we will be a unique person when we develop our abilities which we hoped. We might focus easily on our works or habits because we love and want. In this regard, To be different form from others is more valuable because it can give us a distinct characteristics which general society requires and it can help us to find our identity for the achievement of our own life.
예상점수: 17-21 총평: Fluency문제가 너무 많습니다. 문장들이 연결이 되는게 아니라 문법적인 오류로 따로 떠도는 느낌을 받아요. 항상 글을 다 쓰신 후에 점검하시는 연습을 하시는게 좋을 것 같아요. 내용은 매우 훌륭하고 설득력있게 작성해주셨습니다. 구성도 좋고 구조도 훌륭합니다. 수고 많으셨습니다. |