▶ Your Answer : At first glance, it may seem like the most effective way for a country to progress is not to improve its school. However, in reality, I think that improving the schools in a county is the most effective way for them to progress for two indubitable reasons.
To begin with, enhancing qualities of education is the most important factor for a county to progress. To be specific, in society, all of things are based on the education so it's necessary. If the education will be more elaborated, it is will be much helpful for the country to grow up.
For example, the first thing my hometown done did to improve our town was to raise the qualities of the education. They put all of their endeavor to elementary schools, middle schools, high schools, and even the universities. They heightened contents and facilities of classes, so this change was so positive to our hometown. As a result, enhancing qualities of education is the most important factor for a country to progress.
Furthermore, students are so momentum in our future. This is due to the fact that our country, even our society, will be made by students. They have important roles for us to progress so their attending schools should be improved.According to the New York Times, recent research study results revealed that the country where higher educated students are live in, that country is 78% more progressive than other countries where lower educated students are live in. This evidence proves that students are so important in our later time to enhance our country.
In conclusion, I am highly convinced that the most effective way for the country to progress is to improve its school for the two crucial reasons mentioned above.
예상점수: 17-21 총평: 글의 논지나 이유 예시 모두 적절하게 제시해주셨는데 어색한 표현이 많습니다. 일단 so를 강조형으로 많이 사용하셨는데, 다른 표현도 섞어서 쓰시는게 좋을 것 같아요. 위에 하이라이트된 부분은 어감이 어색한 표현들입니다. 수고 많으셨습니다.
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