I firmly agree that having a roommate is better than living alone. (주어진 문장과 똑같이 쓰지는 마시구요, 같은 의미라도 자기 words 로 쓰거나, 아니면 그냥 뒤에 주장을 한줄로 짧게 써주세요^^.) In America, it is very common for people to live with their roommates. These people who decided to People who decide to live with roommates find some advantages (that ensure them better living together than living alone.)
(주장 뒤에 그에대한 이유 1,2 를 모두 써주셔야 합니다. having roommates 가 좋은데, 그에대한 이유는 무엇인지?)
First of all, living with a roommate is a great choice for someone who deal (deals!) with a loneliness. (relieve stress 라던가, mental illness 를 relieve 한다고 표현하는것도 좋을것같네요^^) According to my experiance of living alone, When I lived by myself, I often wanted someone I can could talk to. when I'm in home alone. And sometimes, I couldn't even sleep right at night due to the emptiness (in my home.of my house) It wouldn't would not have happened happen if I had a roommate.
(문단이 약간은 짧은것같네요^^. 주장과 예제에 대한 설명이 부족합니다. 룸메이트가 있으면 어떻게 이런 문제를 해결할수 있는지? 어떻게 lonely 하지 않게 되는지? 적어주세요^^.
and, so, but 등으로 문장을 시작하지 않습니다.^^ 그리고, couldn't 는 could not 으로 바꿔주세요^^.
그 외 bold 부분은 대부분 문법실수입니다. 주의하세요~!)
Moreover, cost of living is much cheaper. Rent is a big part in of cost of our living, and if we could share the rent, the cost of living could be much cheaper. Also, we can share foods and utilities with roommates. For example, in most dormitories in schools, a community room is much cheaper than a private room. In From this point of view, living with a roommate can cut down the monthly expences.
(아이디어는 좋으신데요! 예제를 좀 더 자세하게 써주세요^^ 자기 경험도 좋습니다^^.)
To sum up, living with a roommate can deal with a loneliness and cut down the cost of living. It is a much better choice than living alone, if we are aware of these advantages. Therefore, I strongly recommend to live with a roommate.
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