■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Parents are the best teacher.
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▶ Your Answer : People's are intellectual, social and personal development are highly influenced by their parents. With this understanding, I believe that the best teacher is parents for the following two subsequent reasons.
First, understanding the daily environment of people and the potential role of parents are necessary to substantiate this view. Every morning, people have to patiently sit through traffic to get to work. Once they are at work, they have to endure documents and continue to read more even at home. As a way to manage the ensuing stress, people can free talk with parents. So, they learn from parents about work life. because they also worked too. They are more experience than him or her. As for me, I got in some trouble with co-worker at my first internship. so I do not know what to do and I could not tell anyone. But I had my mother by my side. My mother gave lesson to me about the situation. (어떤 lesson인지 자세하게 설명이 필요합니다 그리고 어떤 갈등이었는지까지도요) Thus parents are the best teacher to me.
Second, parents provide (주어 동사 불일치) meaningful opportunities for people to connect with another person. Essentially, parents promote activities that encourage people to openly interact with another person. Such intercommunication builds a platform not only to broaden perspectives but also to learn many things. When I was young, I went traveling with my father during 30 days. There are many diverse people in the hostel. I lost my room key but I could not talk about the lost key to host because I was afraid. But I had my father. He gave courage to me and trusted me. So I did it (do what?), and I found the key from host. I learned brave and trust me.
Consequently, the importance of my view cannot be underestimated for the reasons I have mentioned above.
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. introduction과 conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
3. 문장 사이사이에 스페이스 바 누르지 말아주세요.
4. general하게만 작성되어있고 구체적인 예시나 구체적인 행동은 안 나타나있습니다.
detail을 많이 늘려주시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
5. 문법 오류가 굉장히 많은 편입니다.
문장 단위로 영작 연습을 먼저 해주세요.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*