▶ Your Answer : Some people might say that when having problems, it is a reasonable way to utilize one's ability
without asking the elderly. However, in my opinion, I strongly believe that there is no doubt that asking the old to help is a great approach to handle problems in order to save time and obtain different ideas. to ask for elders to help when they face problems for the following two subsequent reasons.
To begin with, older generation has experienced a myriad of works and problems occurred in their life. To be specific, while working and living with families, the older have a tendency to have hinderances
in their life naturally and they make an effort to deal with the problems wisely through all the methods. the elders use several methods to tackle the serious issue dealing with own family For example, there was a survey conducted by Korea University to know how to solve problems by asking 200 university students as respondents. What it found was astounding. Most of them were inclined to ask for advice from their parents and older people at first. It made them to process problems more smoothly and faster than doing happenings by oneself. which leads to solve problems more smoothly and faster.
On top of that, one's solutions, in general, have limitations to have a desirable method of dealing
with problems to deal with problems. To explain, young generation tends to suggest some solutions on their own and those approaches might not seem to lie in adapting efficient ways in comparison to the ideas the old recommend (이 설명이 하고자 하는 말이 무엇인가요? 이해가 되지 않습니다). For instance, I had a dent and some scratches on my car, I had no idea except brushing clothes and clean detergents. Suddenly, I remembered my father's experience of how to recover original surfaces of his car. I called to my father and he recommended me to use car compound and removal brushes to recover previous conditions. By following the recommendation, I could remove dents and scratches effectively.
To sum up, taking saving time, better solutions and the benefits of the recommendation from the older into consideration, I firmly believe that asking for advise to the older outweighs solving problems by oneself.
점수: 25 약간의 어색한 표현들이랑 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지 파악하기가 어려운 부분들이 있습니다. 이러한 부분들은 에세이로 하여금 플로우를 방해하게 합니다. 플로우가 방해를 받다 보면 무엇을 전달하려고 하는 것인지 파악하기가 어려워 지기 때문에 제가 지적한 부분들을 숙지하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 이 부분을 재외하고는 전체적으로 자신의 주장을 잘 전달하고 있는 독립형 에세이입니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |