■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : whether or not zoos has a positive influence on animals. |
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▶ Your Answer :
The reading and listening are
both about whether or not zoos have a positive influence on animals. The
reading argues that zoos have several positive aspects for wild animals. On the
other hand, the lecturer claims that zoos are not a shelter for wild animals
and there are a multiple negative aspects to support this idea.
First of all, the lecturer
argues that zoos are not helpful for protecting wild animals’ genetic diversity.
The population of wild animals is so small. Naturally, it is likely to produce
genetically weaker animals when they are raised in a zoo. As a result, zoos
could result a genetic malpractice for wild animals. This casts doubt on the
reading passage’s claim that zoos are beneficial for wild animals because they
could preserve their genetic diversity.
Secondly, the lecturer also
points out that animal behavior studies in zoo are not effective and reliable. If
the animal study conducts in artificial facility like a zoo it would be hard to
get reliable information from them. Moreover, people could use another sources
to get the information such as documentary or movie clips etc. For these
reasons, zoos do not provide useful knowledge for people. This is in stark
contradiction that zoos could provide an amount of useful animal behavior studies. (reading에서 나온 부분이라고 명시해주셔야 합니다.)
Thirdly, the speaker asserts that
zoos do not broaden people’s perspective on wild animals instead they are
merely used for amusing people. This is because the main purpose of zoo is for
amusing people not educating people. Actually, people can learn wild animals
from other resources such as books without visiting actual zoos. Furthermore,
owner of zoos want to maximize their revenue. To do that, they use tricks to
train animals, which give people a biased idea that it is okay to abuse
animals. This refutes the reading passage’s opinion that zoos offer a view and
broaden perspective of wild creature in a positive way, which is helpful for
educating people by observing them in person.
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1. first & second body paragraph의 분량이 너무 적습니다. (intro와 비슷)
세 번째 문단과 엇비슷하도록 길이 조정이 필요합니다.
2. reading and listening의 비율이 너무 listening쪽으로만 치우쳐져 있습니다.
비율은 5:5, 적어도 6:4 정도는 되어야 합니다.
이는 리딩에 대한 디테일 부족으로 이어지며, 분량 부족, 추가 설명 실패 등으로 이어질 수 있으니
리딩에서도 evidence를 많이 찾아서 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
3. 동사와 관련한 문법 오류가 잦은 편입니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*