▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable
whether in the past people went much friendlier than are today were friendlier. This is an
intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue can be different
depending the individual perspectives. In my opinion, however, I support that
today’s people is more friendly that the past’s people with the following
reasons. in comparison to the past for the following two subsequent reasons.
First
of all, today’s people can have a lot of chances that building relationships
thanks to communication technology growth people can build more relationship (항상 이유 부분은 간결하게 서술하시길 바랍니다). To be specific, when people chat
with online, this will be more opportunities to meet new people from different
background and to build a close relationship through the internet building closer relationship. Although in
the past people have a communication method, a time from sending to receiving receive a
message was extremely long such as a month or even a year. because of this
problem unable the past people to be friendly (이 부분은 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인가요 이해가 전혀 되지가 않습니다). For example, when I was in
college, I wanted to have a foreigner friend. Thus, I explored on google and
talked to various foreigner. Eventually, I had a great foreigner friend just by
exploring the internet. Through this experience, I realized that today’s people
can have many chances that talk to the others than in the past people. to talk with other people.
Second,
in the past people had always a restrict communication. To be specific, as in
the past time was usually class society, the past people could not free
communicate. In additionally In addition, in the past, people unable to communicate various
topics and interest could not communicate with various topics (동사가 없습니다). However, today’s world was very free and be possible
diverse communicate. For example, when I was in high school, I studied history.
Through this study, I realized that the past people were not the mostly
outgoing person because they always had a rigorous work and lived in strict
class society. Also, They even did not a chance that talks to different class
person. For these reasons, I think the past people is not friendly.
I firmly believe that today’s people
were more friendly than the past people. All things considered, it is my belief
that my argument has been precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned above.
점수: 22 일단 이 에세이를 읽으면서 느긴 것은 각 이유 모두 주제를 벗어났습니다. 지금 이 에세이의 주제는 과거와 비교했을 때 사람들이 더 착하고 친절한지 에 대한 에세이입니다. 하지만 지금 이 에세이를 읽어 보면 이러한 부분에 있어서는 전혀 언급조차 안되어있습니다. 전혀 다른 얘기를 하고 있습니다. 따라서 이유를 선정할 때 주제를 중점으로 해서 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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