■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer | |
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Topic : Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should not make important decisions alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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Some people want others to be included together in decision making, whereas other people place higher priority on making important decisions by themselves. As far as I am concerned, a person should decide what to choose among a lot of options. This is important because people feel less remorse when their decisions turn out to be wrong, and they are able to make more optimal decisions when they do it by themselves.
To begin with, those who make decision by their own hands feel less sorry when the results of decisions prove to be bad. People can accept the outcome caused by their own decisions. However, if people followed others's opnion, they will feel very bad about the resulfs. For instance, when I had to apply for the early-decision of the top-ranked university in Korea, my parents were very nervous if I would not be accepted. My parents advised me to submit the application for the second-ranked college in the nation. I followed their opnion, and when I got accepted from the second one(university), I felt remorse of(about) not applying for the top-ranked college.
In addition, better decisions will be yielded when people are in chage of decision making alone. No one will help them at the final moment that they have to choose one option out of many. Thus, they will take more resposibility and put more efforts on the decision making. For example, when my familiy went on a trip to Japan, my brother always whined about the place that my mother wanted to visit. Therefore, my parents gave the travel guide book to my brother. He took time to choose where to visit, and he was satisfied with the place he chosed from then.(afterward)
To sum up, it is necessary for people to make important decisions by alone. People feel better even if the decisions turn out to be wrong, and they will make the better decisions since they take more responsibilty. In this way, people will be able to have more benefits in their lives.
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와 시간이 없었습니다.
휴.. 30분이 제한이면 한 31~32분 내에 쓴건데요
틀린 거 고칠 시간이 없었네요.
(그래서 녹색으로 제가 좀 고쳐봤습니다. 고친건 제한 시간 이후에 한 것이에요.)
조금 내용을 줄이고 철자,문법 검사를 하는 게.. 아무래도 좋겠지요?
아니면 양이 많은 게 좋을까요.
물론 다른 분들과 비교하면 많이 쓴 것도 아니라서요..
어떤 게 더 나을까요?
매일 저녁 디디님 첨삭 확인하는 기쁨에 삽니다.
너무 너무 감사드려요!!! ㅎ
이번주 마지막 토플이 될 거 같은데 신랄한 첨삭 꼭 좀 부탁드릴게요!! ^^